Saturday, March 19, 2011

Seven Stitches and A New Way of Thinking

My husband, Justin, called me tonight on his way home from work. It is a fairly common thing for him to do and it is a call that I look forward to each and every time.

We exchanged our "Hello's" and "How are you's" as usual and then he told me how he was escorted to the Emergency room  from work, in a ambulance, today. I waited for the punch line, but it never came.

It took me a second to snap out of the shock that his words had momentarily placed me in. Once I could conjure up a breath of air (apparently I have a tendency to hold my breath when I am upset), I began trying to figure out what today's date was. My thought process had brought me to the conclusion that he must be joking. Was it that close to April Fools Day to "justify" a joke like this? No, it was still a couple off weeks off... but surly, if he were telling the truth he would have called me when the accident had happened..., Right?

After assuring me that he was in fact telling me the truth Justin then began to explain why he hadn't called me.  Basically, he thought that I would bring Vada to the hospital with me if I couldn't find someone to come sit with her while I went. He didn't want to have her exposed to sicknesses when it was something that we could prevent. I understood his explanation. He was probably correct, I more than likely would have brought Vada with me -if I needed to- to be with him. At this point I was mad. I was mad that he never called. I was mad that he took my choice and opportunity to be with him away and in a very child like manner, I hung up on him.

There was a thirty second period before my phone rang again. He was calling me back. As I was looking at his face in the picture that I had saved to my phone I realized what was actually bothering me. It wasn't anger that I was experiencing. It was one of my greatest fears presenting itself- loosing him.
To make more sense, I have to go back about three years ago.This was about the time when Justin started working for SSAB, his current employer. Prior to starting this job he was working as an electrician. He had been hired into SSAB,  through the electrical company as a temp. He had been hired on to do some sort of safety "like" inspections, due to an accident that had caused the death of another SSAB's worker.

Justin had been at SSAB for about a month working as a temp, before he was hired on as a full time employee and he has been there ever since. Up until today he has come home with bruises and minor scrapes, but no real injuries. Today however, he had cut open his thigh and needed to have stitches. Once he was treated and discharged from the hospital he just went back to work as if nothing had happened.

All of this information was given to me with in a minute. It was hard for me to process. I didn't know what to do or what to say. I had gone through a short list of emotions which Justin had the "pleasure" of experiencing. Eventually, I was able to take a breath and experience for myself the real feeling behind my fears. I was relieved now, that realistically, he was okay and I was grateful that nothing more had happened.

When Justin pulled into our drive way I went outside to greet him. Tears still in my eyes, I hugged him and said a silent prayer of thanks. Its moments like this one, that stops you in your tracks and makes you realize what you have and how quickly those very things can be lost.

With everything that happens in our busy lives we often forget to be grateful for the gifts that God has given to us. We often want more of something, or like me, we want to make a difference in someone else's life, so much so,  that we neglect what it is that we do have. Today, was a reminder to keep my eyes and my heart focused on my family. By being a good wife and mother,  I am in all actuality doing what I seek to do. I am making a difference in someone else's lives, theirs.

While, I am not overly thrilled that it took Justin being injured to snap me back into my place, I am grateful for the lessons that I have learned today.

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