The depression that had once covered me months ago has almost fully, if not all of the way lifted. As the days become longer I can feel the light in my soul become brighter. I'm not for sure if its the season change, Vada hitting her first birthday, social interactions or all of the vitamins that I am taking. Whatever it is (probably a little of everything) it's working and I feel pretty good.
The ability to go places with Vada is really, really the best part of everything. It's not just that I am getting out more, it's that I am getting out with her. It's hard having to seclude your child. I like the leisure of taking them with me and showing them off. Its been a year and I haven't been able to take Vada to the grocery store (at least, not very often) let alone some place that is actually fun. I'm sure in a couple of months I will be hoping to leave them at home so I am able to get away, but for now I am devouring the opportunity to take Vada whenever and wherever I go. I will try to always remember how this last year felt. How I felt when I was in the house for a month at a time with out interaction from anyone other than my immediate family and how badly I longed for something other than these four walls. That way, when those over whelming "mommy moments" come along, I can try to be grateful for the normalcy that is attached to them.
Today Justin, Jasmine, Vada and I went to Borders Book Store. It's a pretty huge ordeal for Justin to come with us let alone for it to be his idea. He's not much of a reader. Don't get me wrong, he is smart, very smart. He's just not interested in reading books. Today, he brought it up because he has been building me end tables and was interested in wood working magazines. Any reason to go to the book store is good enough for me! So we packed up the diaper bag and away we went.
This was Vada's second trip to the book store. Since I am trying to find the good in everything, ill give credit where credit is due. I'm sure that we saved a small fortune because I was unable to come here as often as I typically would have in the past.
We all spread out when we first arrived. Justin went to the magazine section, Jasmine to the Juniors and I went to the photography and art section. I was looking for a book on my camera. I have had it for almost a year now and really I know nothing about it. Plus, I love looking at the photography books, they give me ideas on angles, lighting and so much more. I don't claim to be anything of a photographer. I'm not. I do however, enjoy taking pictures. Even more so when I get one that I can actually be proud of. I did find the book that I was looking for, so score one for me!
We ended up meeting back in the children section after finding some books of interest. There, I laid a blanket on the floor for our now bored little Vada and we sat around her and read together.
Jasmine found the biggest book that I have ever seen. It not only caught my attention but Vada's attention as well.
It was a great day. The girls in this family really enjoy reading. I hope that our interest in books will rub off on Vada as well. I'm grateful that we shared this moment together today. Its been a long time coming, but its been well worth the wait!