I remember watching The Video when I was in Junior high. I remember being intrigued and uncomfortable at the same time and the nervous giggles that not only escaped from me but also throughout the classroom. At the end of the video I thought it wasn't all that big of a deal. However, as a parent, I am nervous as hell for Jasmine to watch "the video" and it's actually coming up, soon.
A couple of weeks ago our girls had parent teacher conferences and during our meeting with Jasmines teacher we were handed a piece of paper. If we did not want our daughter to watch the video we were to sign the paper, otherwise we were told just to leave it blank.
I am the type of person that really needs to think things over. I often say something or make a decision and later, after really thinking it over I realize that my original thought was not the one I should have made. Anyway, Justin was at the conference with me and he shrugged and said that he didn't see an issue with Jasmine watching "the video" and so we left it blank.
Unfortunately, ever since I haven't been able to get it out of my mind. I haven't had "The Talk" with Jasmine, I know that she has some understanding of sex through the vague conversations that we have had but we haven't actually had a discussion in full detail. I am kind of old fashion, I guess and I believe that children should remain children. I mean she is eleven and the last thing she should be thinking about is sex but that's also very naive of me. Society tells our daughters that they need to be sexy to be valuable and to fit in. Sex sells and if I don't have the talk with her someone else will. Or in this case she is going to learn about it at school and the message portrayed wont be one that I want her to value or remember.
I know that I could still sign the paper and disclude her from the video but then I think that her missing out on what most of her peers would be seeing would build on her curiosity and make her feel even more of an outcast than some of her supposable friends are already making her feel. Its a hard decision and it has been weighing on my heart ever since conferences.
I think it would be amazing for Jasmine and I to get together with other girls her age and Christian mothers/women and have a group focused on sex education and why God wants us to wait. There are so many women at my church that I look up to and I know that they would have such valuable things to say and teach our girls. However, time is running out and the video is quickly approaching so I have done the next best thing, at least I hope it is.
Truth be told, I have not read the Bible which I am ashamed to say. I want to raise my children in Biblical sense and while I whole heartily believe that Jesus Christ is my savior, its hard to teach them the same if I can not tell them whats in the Bible or explain what God expects of us. And I don't think that I am sending a very strong message to my children by not knowing whats in the Bible. Its kind of like I am saying the Bible is not important and truthfully, I think it is the most important book available to us as Christians. (Note to self, begin reading the Bible tonight!)
Anyway, because I do want to teach my children about what God expects of them/us and I want to continuously teach them about their own worth (but am have a hard time putting it all into words) I went to a local Christian book store and purchased How You Are Changing. I feel kind of pathetic aditting that while I clearly know about sex, I have three children, I am still searching for the right words to use when it comes to teaching my own children about it. I liked the book so much that I also ordered the video and now I have to have "the talk" with Jasmine. I still plan on allowing her to see the schools version but I not before I talk with her first. God's plan is not taught in schools and that's a shame but I need her to know His plan and I need to know it as well.
The video that I ordered is on its way and I am hoping that it comes before the school does theirs version of sex Ed but I do feel better about what I am going to tell Jasmine and through all of this I have also learned that to be the parent that I want to be I also need to be more devoted to God.
To the parents who are reading this and who have older children what have been some of your methods in teaching your children about Gods plan and sex? For those of you with younger children, what are your plans for teaching your children about this?
A couple of weeks ago our girls had parent teacher conferences and during our meeting with Jasmines teacher we were handed a piece of paper. If we did not want our daughter to watch the video we were to sign the paper, otherwise we were told just to leave it blank.
I am the type of person that really needs to think things over. I often say something or make a decision and later, after really thinking it over I realize that my original thought was not the one I should have made. Anyway, Justin was at the conference with me and he shrugged and said that he didn't see an issue with Jasmine watching "the video" and so we left it blank.
Unfortunately, ever since I haven't been able to get it out of my mind. I haven't had "The Talk" with Jasmine, I know that she has some understanding of sex through the vague conversations that we have had but we haven't actually had a discussion in full detail. I am kind of old fashion, I guess and I believe that children should remain children. I mean she is eleven and the last thing she should be thinking about is sex but that's also very naive of me. Society tells our daughters that they need to be sexy to be valuable and to fit in. Sex sells and if I don't have the talk with her someone else will. Or in this case she is going to learn about it at school and the message portrayed wont be one that I want her to value or remember.
I know that I could still sign the paper and disclude her from the video but then I think that her missing out on what most of her peers would be seeing would build on her curiosity and make her feel even more of an outcast than some of her supposable friends are already making her feel. Its a hard decision and it has been weighing on my heart ever since conferences.
I think it would be amazing for Jasmine and I to get together with other girls her age and Christian mothers/women and have a group focused on sex education and why God wants us to wait. There are so many women at my church that I look up to and I know that they would have such valuable things to say and teach our girls. However, time is running out and the video is quickly approaching so I have done the next best thing, at least I hope it is.
Truth be told, I have not read the Bible which I am ashamed to say. I want to raise my children in Biblical sense and while I whole heartily believe that Jesus Christ is my savior, its hard to teach them the same if I can not tell them whats in the Bible or explain what God expects of us. And I don't think that I am sending a very strong message to my children by not knowing whats in the Bible. Its kind of like I am saying the Bible is not important and truthfully, I think it is the most important book available to us as Christians. (Note to self, begin reading the Bible tonight!)
Anyway, because I do want to teach my children about what God expects of them/us and I want to continuously teach them about their own worth (but am have a hard time putting it all into words) I went to a local Christian book store and purchased How You Are Changing. I feel kind of pathetic aditting that while I clearly know about sex, I have three children, I am still searching for the right words to use when it comes to teaching my own children about it. I liked the book so much that I also ordered the video and now I have to have "the talk" with Jasmine. I still plan on allowing her to see the schools version but I not before I talk with her first. God's plan is not taught in schools and that's a shame but I need her to know His plan and I need to know it as well.
The video that I ordered is on its way and I am hoping that it comes before the school does theirs version of sex Ed but I do feel better about what I am going to tell Jasmine and through all of this I have also learned that to be the parent that I want to be I also need to be more devoted to God.
To the parents who are reading this and who have older children what have been some of your methods in teaching your children about Gods plan and sex? For those of you with younger children, what are your plans for teaching your children about this?
2 comments:
Glad you are posting about this, because I DON'T HAVE A PLAN! :) My oldest is 8, and I'm pretty sure she is going to start asking about the birds and bees pretty soon.... I need a plan! I will be checking out the book you ordered!
I know this comment is coming kinda late, but it is VERY important that you talk with her first. Having raised 3 sons and having to have the talk 3 times, if they don't find out from you they WILL find out on the streets. There is so much misinformation and such strange thinking in our society about sex for young people, they need to be able to talk to YOU and not just their friends who are getting the information from other friends. have the talk. You'll find the words. It doesn't have to be perfect. You are just opening up dialogue for MANY more conversations to come. It's not just a one time deal. Good luck and my prayers.
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