Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Thank You Lord, I See...

Today, Vada and I went to Peoria. She had a check-up with her Cardiologist, Dr. Bramlett. It was the quickest appointment that we have ever had in Peoria. All good news. Nothing new and we wont go back for another six months!!! Dr. Bramlett still heard the murmur (which we were told was still there following the surgery) but he said that it is really "soft" and not anything for concern. He said as far as Vada's "case" goes, "she is best case scenario".  She doesn't need to have Synagis (RSV) injections this fall and he doesnt foresee any complications in the future. After this next appointment (the one in six months), if all is well, then we may go as far out as a year before having to see him again. We like Dr. Bramlett, he's a good doctor and seems to be a nice man but not needing to see him is a good thing my friends! It signifies more growth and more progress for Little Miss Vaders!

Vada was weighed and measured today and while she hasn't gained any weight, she has grown in length! She weighs seventeen pounds-nine ounces and is twenty-nine inches long! For a girl who was stuck at twenty-five inches for over six months, this too is progress. Actually, I stand corrected, it's growth!

On the way home my heart was overflowing with warmth and happiness. It finally feels as if we have our girl and our life. Things feel safe and "Normal".

I find myself staring at Vada all of the time. Sometimes its with amazement, other times its with wonder and then other times it's been with fear. Today, I looked at her and finally, finally it didn't feel like I was going to loose her. It felt like I could breath again and like that damn elephant that found a resting spot on me had picked its huge ass up and off of my chest. It's nice to take deep breaths again and to not feel some sort of pain attached to them.

My faith in God is here, I haven't lost it and while it has done some teetering throughout these many months of stress and ciaos it has always remained strong.

... and that family that I prayed for as a child... well, tonight as we were getting ready to have dinner God showed me again, how very, very blessed I am. It was like He was screaming at me... "Look at the husband I gave you, the father that you asked for. Look at your daughters, your children, the siblings that you wanted. I have answered your prayers. I was listening... Look."

Thank you Lord, I see. Thank you for all that you have given to me. Thank you for the strength that you have given to me and to my family and thank you for answering all of my prayers.


April Vernon said...

God is good.

Annie @ The House That Jade Built said...

beautif Tara! You are blessed :)

Shannon said...

your faith in God brought me to tears. Ecclessatis 3:11 says that men cant always understand what God is doing because we cannot fathom everything from beginning to end. But not for everything, but for somethings we are around to see the Why in what He does. Your beginning lead you to today. And He planned that. And it is awesome you see the beauty in that :)