Thursday, February 10, 2011

To a Friend

Right now someone that I know is about to give birth.

She will be having a baby girl whom she has already given a name to. She knows that her daughter has heart issues and she knows that there is a possibility that her daughter may have down syndrome as well.

My heart is aching remembering my own experiences.

I have been checking in on my friend in almost a stalking manner over the past few hours. I have never met this women but she holds a special place in my heart. Her daughter who is not yet born also has a place there as well.

When I was told that Vada did in fact have Trisomy21 my whole world crumbled. I felt defeated in every way. That was when I was around twenty weeks pregnant and the rest of the pregnancy was the biggest emotional tornado that I have ever experienced. While I am glad that I knew prior to her birth I still wouldn't wish those feelings onto anyone.

I have learned since Vada's birth that having a child who has Down syndrome is not really the hard part. The hard part is dealing with other people and their ignorance's towards Down syndrome. The pain comes from the comments, suggestions, looks and conversations of people who don't know what they are talking about and worse, don't understand the effects of their words.There have been many occasions where I have wrapped Vada in my arms as if guarding her from this ignorance. Its lonely and painful sometimes but its not because she has Down syndrome or because she has caused the pain. Its from society and the way that perfectionism and beauty is portrayed.

Having a child with Down syndrome was not then end of my world it was the beginning of a new and beautiful one. Vada was a gift like any child but with a difference that not everyone can be blessed with. I pray that someday the world will see her as the same and not different in any way.
Now, as I anxiously await for the mention of a new birth I wanted to say just a few things to my friend...

I pray that today when you look into your daughters eyes, regardless of what her diagnosis' may or may not be, that you see God's perfection. If she happens to have Down syndrome, please don't ever let society make it so you don't enjoy her. She will be amazing because she is yours. She will live up to her potential and she will make you proud. She will teach you things you never knew was important and she will bring you joy that you never knew existed. She will change the world, even if it only yours. She will be everything you ever hoped for and more. Today, when you meet her tell her that you love and then tell her again.


Annie @ The House That Jade Built said...

thank you for this and for being a friend! I'm doing good...have epi and pitocin...just resting and waiting for my miracle girl :)

MichelleH said...

Beautiful, Tara! You are amazing. All of those ignorant people have no idea what they are missing, how enriched their lives would be to love a person with Down syndrome. But you are reaching them one at a time. You and Vada are educating and changing opinions....opening eyes to the beauty.

Amber said...

You couldnt have said it any better Tara! Our feelings were the same, but soon realized that we wouldnt change anything about our Bristol, but if only we could change others and the way they see/treat/think about our little girl who happens to have Down syndrome and other that have it too!