Tuesday, June 7, 2011

On the Wings of Time

Time flies by.

In the blink of an eye minutes, hours even days seem to dissolve into memories. More than anything I want to make those moments worthwhile. Sometimes however, I struggle. I suppose we all do.

Over the past couple of weeks I fell and it was one HARD landing!
I am blessed to have a patient husband, one who has no idea how to "deal" with me, but does. I am also blessed to have a few select friends whom I can turn to, friends that push me towards the Lord and not into more self pity.

With the relief of the surgery behind us and Vada's healing moving along beautifully, I have had moments to actually identify my own feelings. I tend to do pretty well under pressure but when the waves begin to calm I begin to feel more than just the struggles of the day and let me tell you, its been a loooong time since we've had a calm view in front of us. Therefore, I had a lot of feelings to catch up on! Now that I have, I am ready to move on and soar on the wings of time. I cant wait to see what God has planned for my family, for me and especially for Vada now that she is all healthy!

Depression is always a part of me. It is not who I am but what I have and while its slightly embarrassing to share with others, its something that I cant control, at least not fully. I will probably always have depression. For me, it's clinical. I have moments where it comes on stronger than I feel strong enough to bear, yet I do.

This is a journey that I can make and one that will not take me. I will bite down on my lip of "struggles" and charge full speed ahead. Someday, I will get full relief but for now, I am doing what I need to do to keep one ity-bity strong and healthy and a house full of loved one's happy...

Its hard to catch up when so much has happened. Finding the right place to begin and then to end seems like a battle not worth figuring out. Time doesn't care if you fall along the way, it keeps moving on-with or without you and I feel as if I have already wasted enough time as it is! I'm just going to say good bye to the yesterdays and move on with the tomorrows. Summer is here. My girls are home on break and I want to make the most of this time that I have with all of them. I look forward to whats coming, what ever it may be and I look forward to sharing those memories with all of you!

1 comment:

Terrie :) said...

I am so proud of you and the very strong, beautiful mother and person you have turned out to be. You have every right to get down and let the waves of emotions wash over you...any mother who is in your situation has the same moments. And once you have dealt with your emotions and cried your tears it only makes you stronger for whatever lies ahead. You have a very beautiful family and you have overcome obstacle after obstacle and still managed to live life and make your family's life wonderful.
I love you and I am honored that you are my cousin and my friend. You are truly a role model and success story.
Side note: Great pictures.