Saturday, October 8, 2011

31 for 21: Is it Fair

Recently, I was having a conversation where I was expressing my enthusiasm for the upcoming "play dates" at GiGi's. In the same conversation I had also been talking about how we are adding more therapy sessions for Vada. My excitement and enthusiasm was abruptly interrupted by a question that I am sure (coming from the person it came from) was not meant to hurt me but was a honest concern on their behalf.

I was asked if all of the therapies and groups for Vada were fair to Jasmine and Kiliegh.

Sometimes, I forget that I wouldn't understand my own lifestyle if I wasn't already living it, so I am really working at being patient with comments and questions like this one. (Typically, I feel that I am pretty easy going with practically any and all of the comments that have been made in reference to Vada, it's actually how I am letting the comments affect e on the inside that I am working on. I get pretty resentful, sometimes.)

Anyway, the question did stop me and I made sure to take a few extra seconds to reflect on our situation before I put my answer into words.

Simply put, taking Vada's to her "activities" is not a whole lot different than taking Jasmine and Kiliegh to theirs. We all make sacrifices (if that's what you want to call it) to go to softball games, karate classes or dance recitals, so why cant we make those same sacrifices a few times a month so that Vada can play with other children or so that she can learn certain skills that she hasn't picked up on yet? Why is it fair to think that Vada doesn't deserve the same opportunities as her older siblings do? This was not actually my response but it is comparable to the message I expressed to my friend.

I work really, really, really, hard at scheduling things so that I don't have to reschedule other things. Kiliegh doesn't miss out on dance so that Vada can have speech therapy and Jasmine doesn't miss out on karate because of Kiliegh's dance classes. On top of this Vada's therapies are always during the day and when the girls are at school so the therapies don't interfere with our time together. However, during the summer, the girls were around during sessions, sometimes they would participate and other times they weren't involved.

My sister jokingly says that I am the busiest person that she knows-- and she adds how it's to her because I don't have a (paying) job! It's true, personally, I am a busy person but that's okay my job is being a mom and that's what I am being.

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