Sunday, October 31, 2010

Halloween Past and Present

Today, is Halloween! A day that I have always enjoyed. Most people who know me know that I grew up in foster homes. Besides all of the moving around, it wasn't too bad and really it's a minor detail of my life now. I think that the holidays were always harder for me than the "regular" days were. I had always felt that the holidays were a time meant for families to be together. So, when this time of year started to creep around I really began to feel a longing for my own family.

Halloween was always an exciting time for me regardless of who I was with. It wasn't the free candy that had lifted my spirits, although I know that it did help! Halloween was something I could do and "fit in" while doing it. Halloween never required me to have my family participate. It didn't even require a store bought costume. All I needed was a little imagination...and a bag to catch all of the goodies in.

On Halloween I could be anyone or anything and no one would know the difference. I would run the streets of my current neighborhood in disguise and no one would see me as "that girl from the foster home"..., or so I thought at the time. I would say those magical words "Trick or Treat" and be acknowledged with a warm smile and something sweet to eat. It was a very full filling arrangement.

Today, Halloween holds a different meaning for me. I no longer need to run the streets pretending to be something or someone that I am not. Today, I know who I am and I know what it took for me to get here. I am no longer running from myself or running in search for something better than what I have. I am comfortable being me and I am proud of the life and the family that I do have.

I now enjoy Halloween in a whole new way. I still use my creative side, but I use it to help create new memories for all of us. My only hope for the girls is that as that as they go on their own treasure hunt tonight they will take joy in what or who they have decided to dress up as but take pride in who they really are.

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