My Reset Journal: Day's 5-8

As I sit here one hand is on the keys typing and compensating for the other which is pleasantly warming on a cup of hot Chai tea (made with soy, if that helps). However, my heart and emotions are slightly divided. 

Since I wrote The Beginning of the End and No More Giving Up, where I claimed that I would not give up on being healthy and also where I claimed my commitment to the Ultimate Reset Cleanse from Beachbody. I thought that I should bite the big one and also tell about my complete lack of motivation to follow through, at least where the cleanse was concerned. 

Truth is, I did quit, give up or stop (you can insert whatever word you see fitting) the Beachbody Cleanse.

 Is my health not important to me? That's not it at all, however, I am not going to make excuses or really even get into all of the reasons behind my choice or the choices that led me to stop this particular diet. When it comes down to it, I quit and that's all that really matters.

 What I will say is that the menu for the cleanse provided delicious meal recipes that I plan on incorporating into my normal cooking routine and that I did in fact learn some from the cleanse. So I did walk away with an added amount of healthy knowledge as well as a choice to remain a vegetarian (not a Vegan though).

The pictures below are of my last two meals from the cleanse , so I figured I might as well share them.

Fresh veggie tray with humus and a Quonia salad.

Zucchini and cashew soup with roasted veggies

Since this update is totally out of date I have been asked by several people what my plans are now. Well, after my morning cup of coffee, Insanity will be calling my name again and I am eager to get back into that routine and like I mentioned above I will continue living a vegetarian life style! I have limited my soda intake to only drinking it when I am using it as a mixer and I am still working on my sweet tooth!

My Reset Journal: Days 1-4

Day one wasn't too bad. Waking up in the morning and not having my cup (or two) of sugar flavored with some coffee was probably the single hardest thing that I have had to do in a very long time. That and the fact that I had to drink water first thing in the morning! Ughhh... I did have a decent breakfast and that too was a first for me. Usually, I drink my coffee and then skip anything else until maybe lunch time. 

My first days lunch. A beautifully tasteful salad.

Another difficult thing about the Reset is drinking the Alkalinize. Oh, man is it gross. I take it as a shot, then chase it with a bite or two of fruit and follow it up with a more distilled water. 

Looks tasty, huh?!? Don't lie, you know you think I am crazy and I am beginning to agree!

Day Two was worse than yesterday. I have had a headache all day. I have felt so very tired and almost as if I have the flu (and who knows maybe I actually do and the timing is just perfect, but I doubt it). Along with being tired I have experienced body aches, dizziness and some moments of being light headed. 

Sounds bad, I know but when you cram tons of sugar into your body along with caffeine on a daily basis and this is your main source of your body's energy or fuel this side effect of withdraw is to be expected. This is my body going through shock, in my opinion and I am sure that it is going to pass but let me tell you, I can not wait for this to a be over! I don't know what I was thinking by doing this but I do know that I cant stop now, I have to finish!

I didn't like breakfast today so I ate very little and all morning I was dragging along but with lunch, for the first time ever, I felt a rush of pure energy come through my body after I ate it. Don't get me wrong, I was still tired and running a marathon or even walking as little as a blcok seemed like an unrealistic task but I totally felt that slowness change and felt more alert. It gave me insight to what the next few days may bring. I am hopeful. 

Dinner was fabulous tonight! I really needed to enjoy something about this Reset and the meal brought all kinds of tasteful enjoyment! Thank you, thank you, than you Beachbody for this tasty treat!!! 

Day two's dinner was low sodium back beans with short grain organic brown rice and fresh corn. It may not look like a whole lot of food but I only put half of the beans and rice onto my plate but I ended up eating every last bite of what was approved for my meal! (I was that hungry and it was that good!) The portions are surprisingly generous but then the Reset claims to be a no starvation "diet" and since the only time I have left the table being hungry is when I choose to not eat what was on the meal plan this morning for breakfast I am a believer.

Day twos dinner was black bean and rice with fresh corn on a baked corn tortilla and a side of fresh avocado. (Part of my lunch consisted of chicken. I opted to not have the chicen and relaced it with baked Tempeh.)

Day Three was not as bad for me in the morning as day one and two were. Don't get me wrong, I still wanted my morning cup of coffee, the first place that I looked was to the counter where my coffee pot once sat, I moved it the day before I began the cleanse for this exact reason. 

The headache that took over my day yesterday has faded into a dull ache. I am hoping that it will be fully gone tomorrow. I don't feel as "foggy" n the head either, which is nice but the fact that I ate crackers may have had something to do with my boost...? They were whole wheat crackers but the ingredients was not fully natural, so it is possible.

Lunch today was two, yes two yummy salads. As I was eating and enjoying my lunch I was agreeing that this "diet" is not a starvation diet. My lunch was large and I ate every bite because I knew that my dinner would be a smaller one.

Dinner was this delicious Tempeh and vegetable roll. (My loving husband made them for me.) Like I said, delicious! However, my meal only included one roll ,which did not fill me up. The dinner plan had miso soup and a great sounding cucumber salad but as I was at the grocery store and my husband was making this roll we failed to communicate that the last of my cucumber was being used. I really cant complain because look what he made for me! So you know why I didn't have my salad but as the soup goes I can not find miso paste anywhere and trust me, I have tried. I did call one of our local Sushi restaurants and they do carry it but I don't feel comfortable getting it through them. I don't know whats in it as far as ingredients go. So I have decided to just skip the miso soup, although I do plan on making it sometime, just to see what it tastes like. So far all of the meals/recipes end up tasting great. Unfortunately, the food is not hitting the spot for me. I still feel like I am needing something more, even when I have finished such a big meal like today's lunch.

Truth be told, my self talk is completely negitive today. I am kicking myself in the ass for even attempting this damn cleanse. Like, seriously, what was I thinking? Here's the thing, I go to a women's group at my church once a week and this week we talked about complaining and looking at the good in situations. So while I am not happy with my (stupid) choice to do the reset I am trying to keep reminding myself of the positives that are associated with it.

1. I have tasted some great food and I now have the recipes!

2. {TMI ALERT!!!-- you've been warned!--} I am actually going poop! For someone with an under active thyroid this is huge and so are my movements--- ewhhh.... just kidding but I am able to have movements and that's without taking anything (other than what is provided for me in the reset package) to help me go! Wanna know how I found out that I have hypothyroidism? No.. then skip the remainder of number two. Yes? Then read on my friends, read on...I could go as long as a month, yes, a whole month without going "number two". Finally, I went to a specialist and had several X Rays done over the course of a two week period. I had to initially swallow these capsules that had "markers" in them. Through an X Ray you could see the markers and after about four days they settled deep into my intestines and then stopped moving through my body altogether.  After two weeks of having no progress and a stack of X Ray images that continued to look identical to the previous ones a long list of labs were ordered and that is how I found out. Needless to say, "poopage" is a celebratory event for me.

3. I have decided to be a vegetarian again. I am not missing meat at all, which isn't a shock since it wasn't a big part of my life to begin with.  However, it'll be my way and not through some restrictive diet even though I am restricting meat but that is my choice and not some fad diet that I am trying out. I'll eat eggs, if I am in the mood and I will eat cheese, ice cream and yogurt as well.

4. I have drank almost three gallons of water in three days! That may be more than I have drank in a whole month. Not kidding.

5. I have always been fairly healthy, besides the soda, candy and small coffee/caffeine addiction, but I have earned that it is important to take the time to make whole foods and not the quick fixes. Sure, I may make a box of Hamburger Helper for my family and once in a blue moon but I realize now that making healthy choices is important not only for me but for my family.

Tonight's thought..Thank you God for allowing me to make such a horrid choice in money spending and as a past time for my next three weeks. I am actually learning many good things from this experience!

Day threes lunch was a Nori roll with oven baked Tempeh and veggie. 

Day four has been the best so far. Yes, I still woke up longing for the soothing warmth of my sweet and savory Pikes Pace Roast but I had little time to waste over missing what I couldn't have, so I focused on what I could! 

Oh yeh, I almost forgot. I am also getting better at my meal preparations. I do just fine at timing everything so that I can eat with my family but tonight I cooked my dinner and prepared all of tomorrows meals with the exception of breakfast and I did it while cooking and not burning everyone's dinner. Not bad if I do say so myself. I think that having the food all ready and easily accessible will really help me flow through the day verses tripping over the hurdles that I have set up all over the place. We shall see.

Lunch was hearty and huge and dinner was just as rewarding. I found that I could have certain "approved" snacks and so I have allowed myself to have some whole wheat crackers which are like a piece of salty heaven. I really like the food (but I really miss my crutches) and I love the simple recipes, I know that they will stay with me probably forever. I can see myself now, sitting at the table with my hands warming on my favorite mug that is filled to the rim with the most amazing drink that I can think of-- coffee, all while I write my meal plan out for the week. I'll be happily drinking my "cup of joe" as I look back on this dreadful twenty-one days and I will smile at the "remember whens" but I will indeed hold on and use the recipes over and over again. 

Day fours dinner consisted of stir-fried veggies, Quinoa (which I like even more than rice) and a cucumber salad.

No More Giving Up

I saw this photo on Facebook yesterday and it really hit home for me. 

I am notorious for starting exercise routines and not following through on them. Finding excuses for why I can't work out comes very natural for me. That's why five weeks into the Insanity program I was uber ecstatic with my success. I had only missed two days in the Insanity routine but each time I made up for my lost day with a double workout on the following. Me, sweating to Shaun T's Insanity became a normal activity for my family to see. Everyone was cheering me on, motivating me and especially encouraging me to push through and to not. give. up. I was feeling better than ever and my body was already transforming. 

And then I slipped. 

I had met part of my goal, which was to fit into my gown for the GiGi's Playhouse Gala (without any under garments to help into that dress, I have to add) and then the excuses began. 

The excuses lasted three to four weeks and then it hit me. This is not where I want to be. I'm tired of thinking "I wish I had ab's like hers", or complaining of this stomach roll or the jiggle in my ass. People look at me and very often roll their eye or scoff at the idea that I am exercising or that I even want to. I cant count the times that I have heard that I am skinny so why work out. Well, I am a smaller person but I want to be slim, healthy and in shape. When a person exercises or watches what they eat doesn't always mean that they are on a "diet" to loose weight, although what you eat is considered a diet. I exercise to be healthy and to give my daughters an example of what being healthy is really all about. You have to get off of your butt and do something, be active and most of all (for me) I have to stop making excuses and take responsibility for my body and for my health.

Luckily, I have the support of my family and I even have my own personal trainer (well, actually, I have a few of those)

Pssst... check out Miss. V. she's standing on her own!! At first glance it looks as if she is using me to support herself but she's not!!

Whats my goal (besides being healthy, in shape and setting good examples)? Look below...

I do want a stomach like hers. 

I want all of this stretched out skin and flab (from having three children and from being on a period of prolonged bed rest) turned into lean muscle. 

I want to look into a mirror and say "I have the body that I want" and "I did it!

 I am now into my second week of Insanity. I will finish it this time. I will have before and after photos and I will reach my goal!

No. More. Giving. Up.

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With all of the above I wanted to add some information on Beachbody. It is the company known for its amazing workout videos such as the one that I am currently doing, Insanity, as well as their tasty meal replacement shakes, Shakeology and their great one on one support given from their independent coaches. I have had the honor of personally meeting my coach before she even became interested in Beachbody. Annie Reid from The House That Jade Built and her mother Janie at Janie Fox Talks and I plus our youngest children met months and months ago and we have both supported each other through our girls going through open heart surgery. Now I have the privileged of knowing my personal coach and knowing that she is going to be honest, push me when I need to pushed and keep me accountable for my health and fitness. Annie Reid is an Independent Diamond Beachbody Coach. If you are interested in starting one of the many amazing workouts that Beachbody has to offer, contact Annie, she has done quite a few of the programs already and is checking off her list as she continues to move through their different videos! If you don't believe me, check out her success story below!

No More Excuses

Why is it that I never forget medications for my husband or children but I almost always forget my own? How is it that Vada has only missed a physical therapy session due to illness but I cant get myself to exercise again? I stay on my girls to take showers everyday but sometimes I skip a day. Is it Poor time management? Motherhood? Procrastination...? I think, honestly, its a combination of all of those things and then some. I love my children and I think that I do a good job at mothering them but when it comes to taking care of myself.., sometimes I lack in that area.

My hair is falling out. I am gaining weight and my skin is dry. I have Hypothyroidism and these are all things that happen when I don't take my medications. Besides this morning, I cant remember the last time that I actually took my two tiny pills that make all of the difference.

When I look at myself I feel as if my skin is just hanging off of my body. I know nice image, right? I gained over sixty pounds during my pregnancies (All three of them!). After I had Vada I had postpartum edema and swelled up like a balloon. I actually weighed more after I had her than I did in my final weeks of pregnancy. Although, two weeks of diuretics took care of it. I was also on over twelve weeks of "strict bed rest" and from what I have been told for everyday down it takes two to recover. Twelve (weeks) times seven (days) equals eighty-four (days of bed rest). Eighty-four times two equals one hundred and sixty-eight (days to recover), which means I should have been recovered and been ready to exercise when Vada was around five and a half months. That's a long time to recover and that mark for recovery was hit and then passed an even longer time ago! So I have made a decision. Instead of saying all of the things I want to do, like my old routine of running three to five miles a day or my Insanity workout, Tracy Anderson Method workout or even my Winsor Pilates workout. I am only committing myself to one small thing, at least to start with... Ten minutes of elliptical exercise. Yes, I am that out of shape. Ten minutes get me sweating and breathing hard. That'll be my plan for one week. Its short enough that I cant make excuses and at the very least, its something. So I don't sabotage myself i'm not even going to speak of my next steps. I am going to focus on today and my baby steps back to a healthier me. This morning's ten minute "workout" was accomplished and I had my little motivator playing next to me the whole time. For now on there will be no more "I'll start tomorrow." excuses. For now on, even if it is only for a short ten minutes, I am getting my butt on the elliptical and I am doing something that makes me feel good about myself and the time that I have.

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Two days ago was Vada's eighteen month birthday. The funny thing is that I have been saying the same thing for several days now. On Thursday I told my mother in law that Vada and I celebrated it with some ice cream. Thursday was the first of September. I guess I was just so excited that I lost track of what date it really was. Vada was born on March 2, 2010. Therefore, Friday was in fact the correct day!

Since we already had some ice cream, last night we had fall vegetable soup (made recently) and broccoli with potatoes. The soup is my favorite and even though I call it a "Fall" soup I make it throughout the year because I like it so much! Vada likes it too, in fact I have never seen her eat so much at one time! She finished almost all of both bowls.

After dinner we did something new...laundry... oh wait, that's not new but riding in the basket, for Vada is! She was giggling like crazy!

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Last night, before bed Vada caught up on some reading. Justin and I have been trying to budget in a new vehicle, one that is appropriately sized for our family and Vada wanted in on the decision making aspect of the deal. She's still deciding.

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This morning was the third Sunday in a row that I have missed church. Not. Like. Me. The first Sunday we went to Saint Louis because of Vada's seizures. Last week was because of the cold that she caught the prior weekend and this Sunday was also because of that same stinking cold. Yeh, she has had it for three weeks! It's not contagious, at least none of us have caught it. She's not running a temperature and hasn't this whole time. I have brought her to the doctors and he has said it's just a cold and it should pass on it's own. Now, it's settling in her eyes and she has a lot of congestion that oddly enough comes and goes throughout the day. So I am thinking its time to bring her back in and re-examine her.

Anyway, instead of taking a coughing, runny nosed and watery eyed little girl to church this morning, Vada and I stayed at home, did laundry and listened to one of our church sermons on podcast. I'm grateful for the podcast recordings because I don't feel complete throughout the week when I miss church. Listening to my pastor's voice and hearing the messages that he preaches helps when I cant be there in person and especially, when I am out of town, sitting in a hospital. While missing church was not the highlight of my day I did enjoy this morning with my baby girl and she seemed to enjoy helping with the laundry.

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Two days ago I posted something that I later in the evening, removed. It had to do with raising money and the Down syndrome awareness walk that is coming up this October 1st. I removed the post because I spoke (or in this case wrote) too soon. Therefore, because the walk is now only twenty-six days away and we have yet to collect any money I want it to be known that we are still collecting money and it will be donated (one way or the other) to the QC GiGi's Playhouse and it will also be donated in honor of "Team Vada 2011". When more information is given to me and when it is set in stone I will share all of the details with you but please, if you want to donate, don't wait! Contact me and I will get you any information you need!

My Bike

I had the Retroglide for a total of two days before returning it to the store we purchased it from. It was a great bike and I like it even though I did return it. The cruiser was kind of a small glimpse into my inner personality. I liked it's look and the way the handle bars felt as I was..., well, cruising along.

The problem was that after we purchased the bike I became practical. The cruiser only had seven gears and it was a pretty heavy bike alone not to mention when hooked up with the Trailer. I rode it around our neighborhood the moment we brought it home even though it was a pretty cold day.  I realized with and with out the trailer attached, switching the gears made no difference. It wasn't getting any easier for me. I'm not saying that the cruiser is hard bike to ride, its not. It's just a different kind of bike than im used to. Not to mention I am pretty out of shape to begin with.

Justin called me Monday morning on his way home from work and said that he was going to go look at bikes for himself. This was my moment of truth. I was overwhelmed with nerves but I felt that I had to try and I told him about my concerns and asked if we could attempt to return the bike, or even exchange it. There was another bike that I found at the same store that I found the Retroglide at and I thought that it was a better purchase for me.

To make a long story a little bit shorter, we returned the Raleigh Retroglide and purchased another Raleigh, this one is a Venture 3.0. Its a great bike with twenty-one gears and a lot less weight to it. Plus, its pearl white, which is a choice color for me.

The guys at Healthy Habits were amazing. They helped Justin bring in the returning bike from his truck. They took the bike seat, the pedals and the grip handles from another bike and put them on this bike (because I thought that they looked better) and then tuned up the bike I now have. They were not rude or short because I had created more work for them to do they were a great group to do business with and I recommend them to any and everyone who are may be in the market of purchasing a bike.

We did not purchase the Burley Bee trailer because it was too expensive for our budget right now. Instead we settled on a nice option made from Instep. Yesterday, Justin put it together and we fitted the straps to Vada.

Today the weather was decent and Vada and I broke it all in. I cant imagine how I must have frustrated not only the guys at the bike shop but also Justin, but im glad that I spoke up. Without doubt this was a good choice for me.

Our Week

The Wilson household has been busy household over the last week and I have been choosing sleep over extra activities that I normally would be doing once the girls were in bed, such as blogging. So, I thought I would give a quick update on our fun but not overly interesting week.

Finally my sister, her son, Vada and I were able to get together again! It has been over seven months! This was not just the highlight of my day or week, this was one of the greatest highlights of my 2011 year, so far! I have missed her and my little nephew so much.


Vada had her first taste of a smoothie. She seemed to like it, but not enough to try it again. I cant seem to catch her interest in any specific food other than breast milk! We are having a speech therapist come in next week to watch her while I attempt to feed her. Afterward, we will figure out what needs to be done, if anything to help Vada with eating and her mouth control.

I have been working on some major "spring cleaning" this week and throughout the last month. I have cleansed our house of so much clutter already and there is more to go soon. I am hoping that with in the next two weeks I will be completely finished including with my scrap room. Then I can catch up on some scrapbooking. I have two years of photos to do and then some!

Justin tore a wall down in the basement for me and he recently finished another end table that he built. This one is for our house, it's made out of cherry and it is beautiful. He wants to start building furniture and selling it. Maybe have his own business sometime in the future. He's great at whatever he does and I know that he would create a wonderful business for himself, if that's what he chooses to do.

Sometime this weekend my elliptical is coming in and I cant wait! I have missed exercising so much but I have also lacked in the motivation area. I'm ready to get back in to a routine!

I was in a fender bender last Sunday at church and I am still unsure who's fault it actually was. I believe that we were both at fault because we were both in reverse. Either way, its hard to tell so Justin and I took the dive and wrote a check for the damage as to not involve our insurance and in the long run save us money. I was the one driving, Justin was at home asleep from working a night shift. I felt horrible waking him up to tell him about it. Luckily, my husband is very understanding.

Vada and I took another trip to Peoria, this time to meet with her Endocrinologist, for her Thyroid.


Awhile back I wrote about her having Hypothyroidism and this was just a follow up appointment. Everything went well, we are just waiting on her lab results. There may be some minor medication adjustments but nothing overly drastic. She measured the same as before, around 25 inches and now weighs 18 pounds- 8 ounces. Her weight is fluctuating due to her loosing the weight that she gained while on ACTH and having Cushings.

The girls and I went to church this Wednesday for a special Ash Wednesday service. We sat in a pew filled with and surrounded by church members and it felt great! Actually, Vada was held by a wonderful lady who not only works with the youth she is also in the Sunday class that I will be rejoining eventually. It was odd not having her in my arms like I normally do, but Kiliegh quickly replaced that void by lying her head in my lap an pleading with her hazel eyes for me to play with her hair.

Two more things that I am excited about are everyday things to most people, but almost a rare delicacy in our family..., were having company over! Yep, this Saturday Were having one of Justin's friends and his family over for lunch. I'm excited and overwhelmed..., its been so long since we've had anyone other than family over. I cant wait for the interaction and the commotion of the extra children. It'll be fun.

Then, this Monday I set up a luncheon with one of my closest friends and her two little one's. Her and I have grown apart somewhat over these last few months, which is to be expected. We weren't allowed to have Vada around others and she has recently had her second child, so she has been very occupied as well. Needless to say, I am excited to catch back up on our friendship and on all of the things that I have missed over the past year or so.

Things are beginning to really balance out. The sun is shinning more and for longer periods of time. The girls are all thriving and for the most part, getting a long. I have been keeping busy and enjoying all of life's little pleasures. My husband has been successful with his carpentry so far and has some small jobs lined up. Its been a good week and I look forward to the days ahead not with fear but with high hopes and on the brighter side of the spectrum.