Vada Walks!!!!

Vada is now Two years and four months old. She has worked so hard for all of her accomplishments. Each milestone that has been hit has been another time for celebration and praise to God and for Vada's hard work and determination. This is something that we have all waited for what seems like forever to see...

Leaving the "Baby" Behind

Vada has been blowing my mind these last couple of weeks! Sometimes she goes through these learning/growing spurts where she will add a couple of new "things" to her list of things she has already learned and then are times that seems to be periods of her just adapting those newly learned skills. I think that she likes to polish up her mad skills and make them look good before she moves onto something new.

She is starting to wave goodbye more openly and with less thought put into the movement. She used to wait until whoever was saying good bye to her was actually gone before she would wave back, sometimes she still does that but its more of a balance between the two. Oh!, and sometimes she makes a "buh buh" sound like she is saying "bye bye" while she is actually waving goodbye, which is uber very fun to hear!

 She is playing pretend with her Cabbage Patch Doll which is exciting not only for me but for Jasmine as well because the doll was actually her gift to Vada this last Christmas. (Jasmine saved up and used her own money for both Vada's and Kiliegh's gifts this year.)

Im not for sure where Vada picked it up but last week when Sara (V's Speech therapist) came she brought a doll who had a blanket and a bottle with it. Vada covered the baby with the blanket (which is a understandable gesture or action) and, AND then put the bottle into the baby dolls mouth!!! She then proceeded to put the bottle into her own mouth and went back and forth a couple of times pretending to drink from it. I was floored. Why? We,ll because this child has had a bottle for one week of her entire life and at that time she wouldn't dare drink from it! She went from nursing for sixteen months straight to a sippy cup. The first year of her life she was isolated either in the house or in a personal hospital room so Im still trying to figure out where she picked this one up from. She is one smart little girl, I tell ya!

Anyway, after Sara left that day V and I took a trip to Toys R Us (which is too close for our wallets sake) and purchased a pack of her very first baby doll bottles. Today she was holding the doll, like I would hold her and placed the dolls head onto her shoulders and then began to pat the dolls bottom side then she would lay her down and give her a "drink" while saying what sounds like an attempt at "baby"

Yesterday, Justin was sitting on our kitchen floor. (He was doing some work on our garbage disposal.) Vada crawled into the kitchen. Stood herself up so that she was standing with one hand on Justin's shoulder then she put her face directly into his and as clear as day said "Hi PaPa!" HA! A Two word sentence! I about fell over! When he comes home from work she will quickly crawl into the kitchen while loudly saying "Papa! Papa!" It has to be one of the sweetest things to watch.

As Vada sat in her high chair yesterday, while having an afternoon snack of Goldfish crackers with Jasmine she began signing "Fish". It was the first time that any of us had noticed her using this sign and that may have something to do with the fact that it looks very similar to her sign for milk. Because she tends to use both hands for both signs and dosent necessarily do it "perfectly" she may have been trying for sometime now and we just haven't picked up on it.  Never the less, she is signing fish or attempting to do the sign because she does it with the correct words. (In case you were wondering what the sign for fish looks is suppose to look like you can check it out here.)

This video is kind of choppy, sorry.

This morning Jasmine brought Vada to me while I was still in bed (how nice, right?!). Sometimes I wait for Jasmine to do that because she loves taking Vada out of her crib in the morning (She is so great with Vada). Anyway, Jasmine lays Vada next to me and again, clear as day, Vada says "Up MaMa." I cheered and said "Yes Vada, up. It's time to get up!"

She slept through the night last night. And has been going to her room at 7:30 P.M. every night. We read and by 8 P.M. She is asleep! This too is huge because her bedtime use to be midnight sometimes even later!

She is climbing on everything and she is even getting down the correct way, head I mean feet first. Only two days ago that was not the case and she hit her head on the wall and now has a huge blackish bruise on the middle of her forehead!

She has learned how to climb onto her rocking horse and her horse with wheels and she is pushing things around while she is standing and taking steps. Which leads me to believe she is feeling more confident in her abilities.

She kind of has a little attitude although I wouldn't call it the "terrible Two's" kind of attitude. She's not terrible in any way so I would called it having a strong willed personality. :) Which is fine, I have one too, just ask her Dad.

All in all things are really exciting around here. Vada is defiantly falling into a "toddler" category and leaving the baby stage behind which is sad and great all together! Her second birthday is in three days! Wow, I just cant believe she is going to be two! I am so proud of her and to be her mom! I cant wait to see what she has in store for us this year!

With Her Hand on Her Hip

Something great happened today...

It's happened before...

But never like this...

And never for this long...

With her hand on her hip...

Vada stood.

She stood tall.

And strong.

For almost a minute Vada stood on her own.

And then gracefully she sat back down.

Good job baby girl, good job!

Milestone Met: Up on the Couch

It's been hard to keep up to date on things through blogging. Each and every day I think of how I would like to share this or that but today I had to take a second to share this huge accomplishment made by Vada. To some this may be just another baby climbing on a couch but to us its worth celebrating!

Talking on the Phone

Vada is growing up (she is 20-1/2 months already!) and she is really catching on to new things. She is mimicking others more and she has begun to pretend play. The video is of her pretending to talk on the phone. I love that she does it now. The funny thing is when I pretend to talk on the phone with her, I use my hand and when I do that, she drops her play phone and tries to talk on her hand like me. I'm probably confusing her a little.

Anyway, I realize that to some this video is nothing special. When you have a typical child you often over look some of the smaller accomplishments at least I did. However, I also know that there will be parents who will watch the video and celebrate with me because the understand that progress is progress and that sometimes what seems like small steps to one, can be huge steps for others.

Enjoy.

Two Weeks

Today has been an emotional day, more so tonight than the day itself. Two weeks ago today was the last time that I breastfed Vada. I'm ashamed to say that I cant recall the exact moment. I don't recall if it was a late night feeding or not. I cant remember where we were sitting or what she was wearing and I don't know if she had just had her bath and still smelled of Bert's Bee's or if that scent had worn away to her natural sweetness. I'm ashamed to say that I must have took that moment for granted, something that I would not have done if I would have known that it would be our last time.

That following day was a Monday and was the day of my surgery (a tonsillectomy for those of you who are wondering). That morning Justin and I dropped Vada off at his parents house. We had thirty minutes to get to the doctors office which gave me enough time to nurse Vada before I left. I knew that it would probably be at least a couple of days until I would feel up to nursing her again, which would mean leaving Vada at the mercy of a sippy cup and solid foods, two things that she still was not fond of-yet. So, I planned on nursing her that morning and then leaving. Vada however, seemed so content in visiting with her Grandma that Justin and I decided to just go on our way.

I cant tell you how those first few days passed. Everyone was here and just above me, our room is in the basement but I was asleep after the first two days and if I was awake it was only to take medication or to throw up (sorry, but that's the reality of it). As far as I knew, from what Justin was telling me, Vada was doing amazing things upstairs.

There were a few of times when the medication had really taken its full effect and I was feeling good enough to get out of bed that I would come upstairs. A couple of those times was when Justin was feeding Vada and he would tell me to go back down because if she saw me then they would both have a hard time. Once he brought her down to see me, only to turn around to take her right back upstairs because she was hungry and missing me. I knew seeing me made it hard for her and that hurt but during this time I couldn't do anything other than comply with what Justin was doing. He was working really hard for me and for Vada and I knew that then as well as now.

This last week has been pretty good. I have still been in a lot of discomfort and to this very day my throat still hurts but as far as Vada goes, it's true that she is doing amazing things. She is drinking from a sippy cup, mostly milk but as of the last two days she has swallowed some juice. She is eating solid foods and each day that passes that too improves. She is napping two times a day and falls asleep about the same times each day. Right now I am trying to wake her between six and seven in the morning and then ive been laying her back down for her nap at ten and then again at two.  Although, with the girls' school schedule that may change. Above and beyond the eating and drinking she is showing more of a personalty. Justin thinks it's because she is figuring out how to communicate her likes and dislikes as well as her wants and needs. Makes sense to me. As of today, has just begun walking around things but she thinks that she is going to skip all of the rest and go straight to standing-without something to support her. She goes from a sitting position, into an almost crawl and then to having her legs straight and her butt pointing up and into the air.It's pretty funny and she's pretty amazing.

 The only time that she really seems to struggle is at bed time. Tonight was, for whatever reason especially hard. Tonight she reached down my shirt. I could fill her little hand making fists over and over against my chest and then, as if I weren't paying any attention to what she way trying to tell me, she removed her hand, said "MaMa" in a frustrated tone of voice and signed for milk-on the cheek of my face, practically on my eye.

I cried silent tears tonight. They fell lifelessly as I rocked her to sleep. I thought about the last seventeen months and about how we were once told that she probably wouldn't be able to breastfeed. I thought about how so many people look at breastfeeding as a task but I have looked at it as a gift and a blessing. While I understand that this may sound weird to some people, I think to most who have breastfed for more reasons other than because they had to, will understand when I say that I am sadly going to miss this time that her and I shared together. It was so sweet and it is something that I will never experience again.

Recapping

I was hoping to have had this wrote and posted last night but I hit what better be the peak of my pain-if it's not, I don't know what I'll do. It's really that bad and I didn't help things out  by overexerting myself over the past couple of days. This is going to sound gross but the doctor told me around the seventh through the tenth day of recovery the scabs (Yes, ewhh, I know!) will fall off and when that happens I  will hit the worst portion of the pain (typical scenario). He said that it would feel like how the first day of surgery would have felt if there were no medications given. Well, the scabs (I know, I know-yuck) are gone and I seriously would like to just be knocked out! Today is just as bad and sometimes worse than last night, other times  it's managed to where the sharp edge has been slightly dulled but that's about the extent of relief that I am getting. Right now, I am kind of in the middle of wanting to scream and feeling the pain of my three day empty stomach but the sharp edge that I was referring to is at this very moment smoothed over ever so slightly and I am grateful for any relief, no matter how small.

Moments before going into surgery we spoke with the surgeon and the anesthesiologist about being able to breastfeed Vada after the procedure was done. The anesthesiologist said that I had to wait twenty-four hours and the surgeon said that the pain medications were okay to use while nursing. I was a little nervous about Vada going the full twenty-four hours without nursing but she had recently done it (when my tonsil became abscessed) and she was great throughout that time. Actually, this is when she really began having interests for eating and swallowing solid foods.

Justin had took the whole week off from work to help out around the house and to pretty much take care of me. That first night Vada ended up doing very well. She ate a good solid dinner, drank milk from a sippy cup and she even slept longer and was in what seemed to be a deeper sleep than she has been in a very, very long time. On day two I wasn't really feeling any pain but I was still pretty out of it from all of the medications so I didn't venture upstairs from our bedroom much. I had pumped a couple of times to keep a decent flow but I still hadn't nursed Vada. Justin said that she was doing really well with everything and that we should just see how things went.

To back track just a bit...

Vada has just recently picked up on eating solid foods, which she has only actually successfully been doing for about a month now. Before she would just put things into her mouth, chew on it a bit and then spit the food right back out. She would never stomach much of anything at least not intentionally. She enjoyed breastfeeding and never showed much interest in anything other than Momma's milk. I personally thought of weaning her off several times (only because of my depression and wanting to start my medication back up), but she was never interested in that either. Plus, she is most likely our last child, stopping means a lot more with that in mind. Once this is over, its over. Once around Christmas, I went a week with out nursing her. She was a wreck, I was a wreck and that was enough to continue nursing her. Truthfully, I enjoyed being able to do it. We were told to expect her to not be able to latch on and she once again proved the medical professionals wrong. I have grown attached to this bonding ritual that her and I have formed and I too am having a hard time letting it go.

Anyway, She had gone three consecutive days of eating solid foods, drinking from a sippy cup and not drinking from me when my nausea had set in and I began vomiting over and over again. When that happened I was put onto two new medications and those were not approved to be used while breast feeding. We figured that as good as she was doing and as much as she was eating, drinking and sleeping that this was our sign...to quit breastfeeding. Were on day number seven and she has yet to breastfeed. There are moments when she does the sign and sticks her hand at my shirt and pulls it but normally its when she is tired. Ive been giving her sippy's of milk and we've been doing a lot of rocky rocky (rocking in the rocking chair) but she isn't too fussy. Actually, she is actually quite amazing about it. I think I may be having the hardest time with it. I'm still pumping a couple of days because I am having that hard of a time with it. However, I am grateful that this has happened. I can start my medication again and my family can have a happier mom and wife!

This was two days after surgery. Me (attractive, I know) giving V some milk from a sippy.

The breastfeeding has been a pretty big ordeal but she has reached an amazing milestone throughout this week as well. She is now puling herself to a standing position. A couple of days ago Justin's mom walked into her room and she was standing in her crib. She pulls herself up to stand at the couch, at her physical therapy bench that we brought home and she now has an additional physical therapy toy, this huge "ring thing". It really provides the perfect height for her to be able to stand with ease.

Another accomplishment of Vada's is that she has begun doing the sign for "more". Well, she almost has it down but she does the gesture at the appropriate times, so we know that she knows whats she is doing. A little more practice and she'll have it down.

Finally, today at physical therapy Vada walked on the treadmill for a whole five minutes (this was her second time doing this type of therapy)! Kim, Vada's therapist, held Vada under her arms, turned on the treadmill and away Vada went. She just starting taking steps. She did have to break here and there for a quick "breather" but she was really working hard throughout her whole session and was naturally tired at this point.

Kiliegh surrounded Vada with some of her favorite things to play with-a little motivation.

I just love Vada's therapy times with Kim. I know that it may sound a bit odd-me actually liking that my daughter is in therapy but its more that I like who we have giving her the therapy, since Vada needs to have it. Did that make sense? Anyway, Kim is fantastic with her. She is gentle, yet she continues to push Vada to do a little bit more each time they do anything and this is a whopper of a great thing, to me, Kim has never said anything about what Vada probably can't or wont do because she happens to have Down syndrome. It's something that we have heard a lot of over the last two years but never once from Kim. Anyway, its neat to watch the two of them together. I not only walk out of the sessions with more idea's on how to physically help and motivate Vada, I also walk out feeling even more proud than had been just an hour before.

ER Rooms and ENT's

This Thursday (I was originally saying it was on Weds. but I mixed up my days) I went to a local walk-in clinic. I had been having a sore throat for five days with the pain increasing considerably each day. The pain was only on the right side so I wasn't concerned with it being strep throat, although I was tested for it a total of two times by the end of this story. The doctor who saw me looked into my throat barely long enough to shine a light in it, told me it was red on both sides (It wasn't) and then told me since my strep test had come back negative that it was just a cold and it would run its course. I hate when doctors (any medical professionals) get on their high horse and think they know everything! If this guy would have really looked into my throat he would have seen that only the right side was swollen, as well as the roof of my mouth. He could have prevented all of this with prescribing me an antibiotic, but he didn't. In stead, he blew me off and sent me home. He told me that if it lasted longer than two weeks to go to my family doctor. Again, this was on Thursday. Friday was worse. Saturday was unbearable, so unbearable that I had Justin take me back to the walk-in, where we saw a different doctor. This doctor shined her little light into my mouth and pulled back a second later looking very concerned. She told me that I had a Peritonsillar Abscess-an abscessed tonsil. The problem was that it had gone untreated too long and was spreading down my throat, through/across the roof of my mouth and into my gums! We were directed to go to the Emergency room.

The emergency room visit lasted a few hours. I was given a CAT scan to see how far the infection had spread and was put on IV antibiotics and electrolytes because I could barely swallow let alone drink at this point. Actually, at this point my face had begun to swell.

Turns out that our ER room is not equipped for dealing with things like this-its an ENT's "area" and our hospital has only one ENT on call once a month and this wasn't his time of the month! There was talk of sending us to Iowa City but the doctor working my case was able to get a hold of an ENT across the river who was willing to see me first thing in the morning, which was Sunday and may I remind you also Father's Day.

Justin and I were nervous that the ENT would be unpleasant, with having to meet us on the weekend and a holiday of all days, but he was so incredibly nice and patient too. He numbed my throat-kind of and then drained the area which hurt more than I care to describe! He told me that I should be feeling better soon and that I should also come back to see him this Wednesday.

I slept throughout the remainder of the day (Sunday) and by that evening I was able to eat some soup. Today, my throat does feel a lot better! I am off of the pain medication and it feels like a little scratch in there, except I still cant open my mouth fully, doing that hurts.

There are two things that I am left with that concerns me. I now have a tooth ache where part of the infection happen to be sitting, so I have to go to the dentist to make sure there wasn't any root damage and then the next thing is the removal of these tonsils. When I go back this Wednesday we will be discussing a date to do it. The ENT didn't say that it was absolutely necessary but guaranteed that I wouldn't have this particular problem or the other problems that I commonly have if I did have my tonsils removed. His confidence was enough to convince me!

Here's the best part and I did save it for last because it is with out doubt the highlight of the weekend. Vada and I were apart for most of Saturday day and then that night as well. When I came back on Sunday she was sipping/sucking from a sippy cup and was eating solids like a champ! She was amazing! AMAZING! It was so exciting. She wasn't cranky because she hadn't nursed. She was content in all of the new things that she was trying and she seemed to really be enjoying herself too! Don't get me wrong, she hadn't lost interest in nursing. As soon as she saw Sunday morning she wanted me and shortly after being in my arms she was ready for some milk and trust me, it had been a long time, I was ready to give her some! The greatness of this side story was that she was sipping and eating not just "gumming" but fully digesting food! This is huge! It a leap forward, not a step!

Justin's parents live a mile or so away from us but we all stayed at their house on Sunday night anyway. It was really nice just hanging out with them. They enjoyed playing with the girls, I was able to continue to rest and Justin and his Dad were able to hang out as well. Vada ate a great dinner and nursed before she went to bed on Sunday and then slept for four hours before nursing again for the second and last time during the night. Today she has nursed four times, drank from a sippy cup, ate lunch and a great dinner and is in bed now (which could back fire on me tonight). It has been so exciting watching her figure out how to eat. She's getting it and its becoming second nature to her. Have I told you that this girl is amazing? Well, she is!

Adding to Her Vocbaulary

Tonight we let Kiliegh have her friend Brooke sleep over. We had made the arrangements on Monday and before deciding to keep Vada confined until surgery. After making sure that Brooke was feeling well and had not knowingly been exposed to some sort of spreadable something or another we decided to keep our original plans. After all, Kiliegh was looking forward to having her friend over and had done nothing to deserve a change in plans.

Brooke is a sweet girl who is not only in Kiliegh's class at school but Brooke and her family go to our church as well. The girls had such a good night together and I was pleasantly surprised in how much Brooke loved on Vada. Brooke is an only child but has amazing big sister instincts.

Vada liked Brooke a lot and she enjoyed playing with the big girls throughout the night. At one point in the evening Vada was having such a good time that she decided to speak a new word in order to get the girls attention. Vada was laying in her crib watching Kiliegh and Brooke play Barbies. I was in the same room putting laundry away. Out of nowhere I hear "Hi." I turned and looked at Kiliegh and Brooke, knowing that it was Vada's voice that I had heard but looking for confirmation from them. Both girls had a smile on their face. They too were impressed. Vada wanted their attention and she figured out how to get it! To me, this is a huge milestone and a very exciting one too!

Daddy Call's 'em Bunny Hop's

Through my excitement of Vada's first crawling moments I forgot to get Justin. He was outside working in the shop and I couldn't pull myself away from watching Vada conquer yet another amazing obstacle, crawling.

After a moment I could tell that she was taking a "breather" so I got up quickly to go get her daddy. He would want to see this too and not just from a video. Luckily, she wasn't too tired from her first try and was willing to show Daddy what she had taught herself.... he called them "Bunny Hop's".

The Up and At-uhm's

Tom Petty's song Learning To Fly has been stuck in my head for the last few days.

I've been watching Vada work hard at lifting her little body up and off of the floor and I feel as if she is learning to fly.

Brilliantly she brings her knees up and in for support and then from exhaustion she falls back down onto her belly and gives a small cry of defeat.

Never fully giving up she gets back up and tries again.

Hitting milestones has been a slower process for Vada and because of those set backs I have learned to appreciate the work that our children (those who face obstacles and those who don't) have to do from the very beginning. Vada doesn't know that she has to work twice as hard as her sisters had to, she just does it.

Each time that she does something new I celebrate, I thank God and I rejoice!  Today, I celebrate the up and at-uhms of learning to crawl!

Standing Tall, With a Little Support

Every time Vada does something new I celebrate. Maybe its an internal party, but a celebration none the less. I love watching her grow stronger, more aware of herself and of her surroundings. I love seeing the confidence she is getting in herself and in her own capabilities. My heart melts when her eyes light up because she has just figured out that she is doing something important.

I don't like to keep bringing up the past and I don't like bring up her seizures, its something that I would rather forget altogether, but I cant. The seizures and probably the medications more so shut her down for awhile. I never lost her, not as other mothers have said in situations similar to ours and in regard to their own child. For that (and so much more), I am grateful and feel blessed.

Vada was rolling over around the beginning of her fourth month. She was laughing and saying "Mama" too. For awhile she just stopped, everything. There was no "Mama" or laughing coming from my sweet baby girl and rolling became very difficult for her because of the weight gain that was a repercussion of the medications. She is now a rolling pro! "Mama" is back in her vocabulary as well as several other words and she will laugh, she just makes me work extremely hard to hear one.

Its hard to be told of the many delays to expect when you have a child with Down syndrome and that probably goes with any intellectual disability. Your hopes seem to deflate a little, mine did. It was even harder for me to watch Vada exceed beyond what was expected of her only to be side swiped with yet another road block (the seizures). It made my heart scream in anguish. I wanted to rescue her but couldn't.

Whats amazing to me is that she came out of this particular road block stronger than she was before. This girl is a fighting machine that is disguised in a cute cuddly little body. You would never expect that someone so small and with so many obstacles would be so strong..., but she is. I am constantly amazed by her strengths and her determination.

Vada's most recent accomplishment is standing on her own, again. Well, standing with a little finger support from one of us. She is getting more and more adventurous and letting go sometimes as well! That little venture lasts a mere second and she's either on her bottom or in my arms, but hey, ill take what I can get and progress is progress, no matter how small or how large.

A Milestone

It's been so fun watching Vada grow and progress over the last month, even more so now that we know that she is not having seizures. The swelling from the cushings has gone down considerably and it seems as if all of the ACTH must out of her system because she is just so alive.

Yesterday, she was laying on her belly and made crawling movements towards her purple dinosaur rattle and she actually made two small movements forward. I tried to record her doing it again, but I was unsuccessful. I swear she knows the moment I push {record} because as soon as I do, she stops what shes doing.

I've been saying this for awhile now, but I know that any day she will be all over the place, and today was just another step in that direction!

I remember when I was pregnant, I was reading books and surfing the web for information on Down syndrome everyday. Everything that I read told me that there would be developmental delays. The first time I read that I turned to Justin and said "Vada will probably be our last baby..., so, she'll just be our baby for a little longer..., and that's okay." I meant it when I said it then and I still feel that way now. I am proud of who Vada is and when she does reach a certain milestone no matter how small or how delayed, I celebrate it!

Today, Vada sat on her own! Well, she had a little help from her boppy, but it was the first time that she has ever done this. She stayed up for minutes, not seconds and when she began to fall to one side or the other you could see her using all of her muscles to pull herself back up.



When I got down to take her picture she gave me the sweetest smile. It may have been a coincidence, but I think she knew she was doing something big!