Today was the first time I felt a little hopeless and a bit cranky with Vada. She woke up at 1 a.m. and I had just laid down about forty-five minutes earlier, so I was tired. I came up stairs to her room, pulled her out of her bed and laid down with her in Kiliegh's bed (Kiliegh was at her dad's). I nursed her on the left then I nursed her on the right. Rocked her. Patted her and then nursed her again on the left again, that's all she wants to do anymore, nurse. Then I put her back in her crib, she was still cranky but nothing I did including laying her to play with her toys seemed to sooth her. I think that she was uncomfortable because she sort of flung her self from side to side as if she couldn't get into the right position. Ive learned over the past couple of days that if she is like this and I lay her down to be by herself for a few minutes and then pick her back up, she is better. Almost like she needs to throw a fit, express her frustrations. Just like at one time or another we all do.
She has this plastic Baby Einstein fish tank that she really likes to lay in her crib and watch, so I turned that on, hoping that it would sooth her restless little body to sleep. Nope. That was not the solution!
Shes been having a difficult time passing stools, so I am sure it has something to do with being constipated, but I knew who the real culprit was. Or at least I know what I am going to blame this attitude change on. ACTH.
Baby roid rage.
Other parents had warned me. Told me to expect this. I listened. I believed. But, well, its been three weeks, I had figured I would have seen something sooner. Don't ask me why. It makes total sense that it would take a little time for the steroids to build up. Bless her heart, she is so strong. She tries to be in a good mood, I know it. She is typically a pretty happy girl as well as pretty easy going.
As of the last couple of days however, she seems to have a hard time getting comfortable. She likes to cuddle with me and nurse. Another thing I was told, a constant need to "eat". She wants nothing to do with solids, but she had made me completely dry on both sides, from nursing so much at one time. Yes, dry. I tried to suppress some milk out on my own, and nothing! Obviously, my body made more, but usually there is no problem in that department!
I talked to the pediatric gastrointestinal specialist and we are doing a upper abdominal x-ray and a barium enema x-ray towards the end of September to try and figure out if there is another problem with her GI track. For now, I am doing glycerin chips if needed. The glycerin really doesn't do anything, So, her being bound up has something to do with he irritability. At least I think so. He also said that she does not have Colitis. Which Dr. J her Neurologist said she did. But Dr. H. said when he did the endoscopy and colonoscopy he only saw mild inflammation which was caused by cleaning her out/ preparing her for these two tests. So, that's no longer a concern. Which is a relief!
Here's the real reason why I am so tired. Through all of this I am trying to keep Vada sleeping in her crib. I love her sleeping with me in our bed and I don't care for anyone's opinion on it. By baby, my rules. However, our bed is very high and our floor is concrete with carpet on it (a basement bedroom). If she fell it would be a huge ordeal, she would probably be seriously injured. So, when she does sleep with me I don't sleep very well. By keeping her in her bed I don't have to worry about her falling and I don't have to worry about weaning her out bed again. So, when she does wake up I sit upstairs either by her crib rubbing her back through the bars,rocking her in the rocking chair or laying with her on the couch. Once she falls asleep with me I try to get her back in her crib. That is if I don't fall asleep myself. If she wakes up again I repeat the process. Now, I could take naps during the day when she is asleep. I am a stay at home momma, but I always become preoccupied with cleaning, or depending on the days the girls. Plus, we have the visiting nurse (who I have come to like a lot!)who come three times a week, Vada's pediatric doctor once a week and her neurologist once a week. It makes it raaly hard to get anything done when I am running all over and then using my free time sleeping. So I don't nap. That's my fault.