Saturday, August 28, 2010


When I was in my late teens and early twenties the group of people that I spent the majority of my time with was a group that fell somewhere in the categories of hippies and skateboarders. I think its probably safe to just call them (and by "them" I mean me too) slackers. Im not proud to say this, but it is what it is. I was young and brought up in a way that this was the "norm". It took a little growing up on my part to later realize that this life style was not what I wanted for myself or my children. Anyway,piercings and tattoos where the "thing" to do. I was the first in the group of girls to have both. My first piercing besides my ears and nose was my navel. My first tattoo was on my left ankle, of a gecko. I have always liked the lizard, even though he (yes, he) holds no personal value to me. Basically it was the first thing that I saw that I liked. I had him put onto my ankle to cover up the line my uncle put there when I was ten and my mother told him that he could put a rose on me. Yes my mom gave my uncle permission to tattoo me at the age of ten, but thats another story. In my uncles defense, he felt badly. Needless to say, I was young and it really hurt, so he stopped. Hence the line being covered up by the lizard.

Through out my younger twenties I got more tattoos and more piercings. Sadly, for me, it was addicting. Traques, Rooks, Eye brow. Butterfly, Dragonfly, Jasmines name in Chinese, flames and Kilieghs name in Japanese. Right now, if I could, I would have them all removed, even the lizard. I wish that the removal process didn't include leaving blobs of scars in replacement of what was once someones "art work". If it could be a clean slate of skin again, then I would do it. But it cant, so, I got another one. Smart, right?

Here's my theory. I have Jasmines and Kilieghs names on my back. I have another child, Vada and I cant leave her out. That's not an excuse, I just wouldn't feel right having Jasmine and Kilieghs names on me and not Vada's.

Before Vada starting having seizure I had told Justin that I wanted her hand print. Not just any hand print, but her left hand print. For those of you who don't know a trait with people who have Down syndrome is on their left hand. Its something I had never known about until we found out that Vada had Ds and I started reading about it in preparation for her arrival. The palm of her left hand has one "life line" where as people who don't have Ds tend to have two seperate lines. Its only on her left hand making this characteristic even more qunique and special about her and special to me. Her little pinkies have a little kink to them as well, but its the one life line that I wanted portrayed. It stands for so much to me. Her hand symbolizes her strength and uniqueness. That tiny hand of hers reminds me that she is so small and has overcome so much already. Every time I look at her let alone her beautiful hand I don't see Down syndrome as some many others do. I see perfection and beauty. God gave this wonderful little girl to make me see greatness is something other than the "norm." I wish the whole world could look at Vada and others who have disabilities and feel the same way I do. Perfection, comes in all forms.

So instead of figuring out a language to translate Vada's name into I chose to have a drawing of her hand on my back. I don't think that people in general will notice the symbolism in her tiny hand that I do, but I will tell them. I will tell everyone about her difference and why it is so wonderful and NOT because I cant look past the Ds, because in all honesty its not what I see. I will tell everyone what this tattoo means to me and why I chose it because I AM PROUD of who Vada is. If I could, I wouldn't change her. She is who she is and I wouldn't want her any other way.

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