My Reset Journal: Day's 5-8

As I sit here one hand is on the keys typing and compensating for the other which is pleasantly warming on a cup of hot Chai tea (made with soy, if that helps). However, my heart and emotions are slightly divided. 

Since I wrote The Beginning of the End and No More Giving Up, where I claimed that I would not give up on being healthy and also where I claimed my commitment to the Ultimate Reset Cleanse from Beachbody. I thought that I should bite the big one and also tell about my complete lack of motivation to follow through, at least where the cleanse was concerned. 

Truth is, I did quit, give up or stop (you can insert whatever word you see fitting) the Beachbody Cleanse.

 Is my health not important to me? That's not it at all, however, I am not going to make excuses or really even get into all of the reasons behind my choice or the choices that led me to stop this particular diet. When it comes down to it, I quit and that's all that really matters.

 What I will say is that the menu for the cleanse provided delicious meal recipes that I plan on incorporating into my normal cooking routine and that I did in fact learn some from the cleanse. So I did walk away with an added amount of healthy knowledge as well as a choice to remain a vegetarian (not a Vegan though).

The pictures below are of my last two meals from the cleanse , so I figured I might as well share them.

Fresh veggie tray with humus and a Quonia salad.

Zucchini and cashew soup with roasted veggies

Since this update is totally out of date I have been asked by several people what my plans are now. Well, after my morning cup of coffee, Insanity will be calling my name again and I am eager to get back into that routine and like I mentioned above I will continue living a vegetarian life style! I have limited my soda intake to only drinking it when I am using it as a mixer and I am still working on my sweet tooth!

My Reset Journal: Days 1-4

Day one wasn't too bad. Waking up in the morning and not having my cup (or two) of sugar flavored with some coffee was probably the single hardest thing that I have had to do in a very long time. That and the fact that I had to drink water first thing in the morning! Ughhh... I did have a decent breakfast and that too was a first for me. Usually, I drink my coffee and then skip anything else until maybe lunch time. 

My first days lunch. A beautifully tasteful salad.

Another difficult thing about the Reset is drinking the Alkalinize. Oh, man is it gross. I take it as a shot, then chase it with a bite or two of fruit and follow it up with a more distilled water. 

Looks tasty, huh?!? Don't lie, you know you think I am crazy and I am beginning to agree!

Day Two was worse than yesterday. I have had a headache all day. I have felt so very tired and almost as if I have the flu (and who knows maybe I actually do and the timing is just perfect, but I doubt it). Along with being tired I have experienced body aches, dizziness and some moments of being light headed. 

Sounds bad, I know but when you cram tons of sugar into your body along with caffeine on a daily basis and this is your main source of your body's energy or fuel this side effect of withdraw is to be expected. This is my body going through shock, in my opinion and I am sure that it is going to pass but let me tell you, I can not wait for this to a be over! I don't know what I was thinking by doing this but I do know that I cant stop now, I have to finish!

I didn't like breakfast today so I ate very little and all morning I was dragging along but with lunch, for the first time ever, I felt a rush of pure energy come through my body after I ate it. Don't get me wrong, I was still tired and running a marathon or even walking as little as a blcok seemed like an unrealistic task but I totally felt that slowness change and felt more alert. It gave me insight to what the next few days may bring. I am hopeful. 

Dinner was fabulous tonight! I really needed to enjoy something about this Reset and the meal brought all kinds of tasteful enjoyment! Thank you, thank you, than you Beachbody for this tasty treat!!! 

Day two's dinner was low sodium back beans with short grain organic brown rice and fresh corn. It may not look like a whole lot of food but I only put half of the beans and rice onto my plate but I ended up eating every last bite of what was approved for my meal! (I was that hungry and it was that good!) The portions are surprisingly generous but then the Reset claims to be a no starvation "diet" and since the only time I have left the table being hungry is when I choose to not eat what was on the meal plan this morning for breakfast I am a believer.

Day twos dinner was black bean and rice with fresh corn on a baked corn tortilla and a side of fresh avocado. (Part of my lunch consisted of chicken. I opted to not have the chicen and relaced it with baked Tempeh.)

Day Three was not as bad for me in the morning as day one and two were. Don't get me wrong, I still wanted my morning cup of coffee, the first place that I looked was to the counter where my coffee pot once sat, I moved it the day before I began the cleanse for this exact reason. 

The headache that took over my day yesterday has faded into a dull ache. I am hoping that it will be fully gone tomorrow. I don't feel as "foggy" n the head either, which is nice but the fact that I ate crackers may have had something to do with my boost...? They were whole wheat crackers but the ingredients was not fully natural, so it is possible.

Lunch today was two, yes two yummy salads. As I was eating and enjoying my lunch I was agreeing that this "diet" is not a starvation diet. My lunch was large and I ate every bite because I knew that my dinner would be a smaller one.

Dinner was this delicious Tempeh and vegetable roll. (My loving husband made them for me.) Like I said, delicious! However, my meal only included one roll ,which did not fill me up. The dinner plan had miso soup and a great sounding cucumber salad but as I was at the grocery store and my husband was making this roll we failed to communicate that the last of my cucumber was being used. I really cant complain because look what he made for me! So you know why I didn't have my salad but as the soup goes I can not find miso paste anywhere and trust me, I have tried. I did call one of our local Sushi restaurants and they do carry it but I don't feel comfortable getting it through them. I don't know whats in it as far as ingredients go. So I have decided to just skip the miso soup, although I do plan on making it sometime, just to see what it tastes like. So far all of the meals/recipes end up tasting great. Unfortunately, the food is not hitting the spot for me. I still feel like I am needing something more, even when I have finished such a big meal like today's lunch.

Truth be told, my self talk is completely negitive today. I am kicking myself in the ass for even attempting this damn cleanse. Like, seriously, what was I thinking? Here's the thing, I go to a women's group at my church once a week and this week we talked about complaining and looking at the good in situations. So while I am not happy with my (stupid) choice to do the reset I am trying to keep reminding myself of the positives that are associated with it.

1. I have tasted some great food and I now have the recipes!

2. {TMI ALERT!!!-- you've been warned!--} I am actually going poop! For someone with an under active thyroid this is huge and so are my movements--- ewhhh.... just kidding but I am able to have movements and that's without taking anything (other than what is provided for me in the reset package) to help me go! Wanna know how I found out that I have hypothyroidism? No.. then skip the remainder of number two. Yes? Then read on my friends, read on...I could go as long as a month, yes, a whole month without going "number two". Finally, I went to a specialist and had several X Rays done over the course of a two week period. I had to initially swallow these capsules that had "markers" in them. Through an X Ray you could see the markers and after about four days they settled deep into my intestines and then stopped moving through my body altogether.  After two weeks of having no progress and a stack of X Ray images that continued to look identical to the previous ones a long list of labs were ordered and that is how I found out. Needless to say, "poopage" is a celebratory event for me.

3. I have decided to be a vegetarian again. I am not missing meat at all, which isn't a shock since it wasn't a big part of my life to begin with.  However, it'll be my way and not through some restrictive diet even though I am restricting meat but that is my choice and not some fad diet that I am trying out. I'll eat eggs, if I am in the mood and I will eat cheese, ice cream and yogurt as well.

4. I have drank almost three gallons of water in three days! That may be more than I have drank in a whole month. Not kidding.

5. I have always been fairly healthy, besides the soda, candy and small coffee/caffeine addiction, but I have earned that it is important to take the time to make whole foods and not the quick fixes. Sure, I may make a box of Hamburger Helper for my family and once in a blue moon but I realize now that making healthy choices is important not only for me but for my family.

Tonight's thought..Thank you God for allowing me to make such a horrid choice in money spending and as a past time for my next three weeks. I am actually learning many good things from this experience!

Day threes lunch was a Nori roll with oven baked Tempeh and veggie. 

Day four has been the best so far. Yes, I still woke up longing for the soothing warmth of my sweet and savory Pikes Pace Roast but I had little time to waste over missing what I couldn't have, so I focused on what I could! 

Oh yeh, I almost forgot. I am also getting better at my meal preparations. I do just fine at timing everything so that I can eat with my family but tonight I cooked my dinner and prepared all of tomorrows meals with the exception of breakfast and I did it while cooking and not burning everyone's dinner. Not bad if I do say so myself. I think that having the food all ready and easily accessible will really help me flow through the day verses tripping over the hurdles that I have set up all over the place. We shall see.

Lunch was hearty and huge and dinner was just as rewarding. I found that I could have certain "approved" snacks and so I have allowed myself to have some whole wheat crackers which are like a piece of salty heaven. I really like the food (but I really miss my crutches) and I love the simple recipes, I know that they will stay with me probably forever. I can see myself now, sitting at the table with my hands warming on my favorite mug that is filled to the rim with the most amazing drink that I can think of-- coffee, all while I write my meal plan out for the week. I'll be happily drinking my "cup of joe" as I look back on this dreadful twenty-one days and I will smile at the "remember whens" but I will indeed hold on and use the recipes over and over again. 

Day fours dinner consisted of stir-fried veggies, Quinoa (which I like even more than rice) and a cucumber salad.

The Beginning of the End

Tomorrow is the day. 

Day one.

The beginning of the end.

What am I talking about? Beachbodys Ultimate Reset. 

I am taking the plunge and diving into my new me, starting tomorrow. 

You may be wondering what the Ultimate Reset is. The Ultimate Reset is a gentle, no starvation, total body cleanse. I have been guaranteed that in three weeks the Ultimate Reset will restore my body to its optimal "factory settings". I should look, feel and be healthier than I am now.  

I decided to do the Ultimate Reset because I have been working out a lot and I want to feel good inside as well as on the outside. I have terrible skin. My face is like a teenager going through "the change", which is really embarrassing, considering i'm in my thirties! I have Hypothyroidism, which wont change but I am hoping to find a source of new energy through resetting my inner workings. I have a couple of horrible habits. I like sweets and I'm not talking a chocolate here and there, i'm talking fruity candies of almost any kind and in large amounts. In fact, I cant remember a day that I didn't eat some sort of candy, which probably says a lot for my skin problems! Another unhealthy "vice" of mine is soda.Actually, soda pop is about the only thing that I do drink. I know, I know, I am terrible. Anyway, I drink mostly diet soda but I really prefer the "diesel" and I like the browns (aka Coke, Pepsi, Dr.Pepper), which usually means caffeine! I also like me some coffee in the mornings and since plain coffee tastes like crap I have mine with a ton of sugar in it! Most people who see me prepare a cup of coffee for myself often comment about me adding some coffee to my sugar. Yep, I am that bad. I am also a carb addict, i'm working through that one but pretzels and goldfish crackers are hard ones for me to resist.

With this reset I am hoping to break free from my unhealthy eating habits and find new healthier life, meal and snack choices. 

Currently, I do eat some meat. I will eat chicken on occasion if it is raised without animal byproducts, antibiotics or hormones. However, I can't remember the last time I actually did eat chicken. I have also ate ground turkey or turkey burgers. On Easter I had a turkey burger and I think it was actually the last time that I ate meat other than the eggs that I used to make the homemade bread that's sitting on my counter. (I consider eggs to be meat.) I don't mind bacon, if it's burnt to a crisp and on a BLT and I don't and wont eat any red meat. I like some kinds of fish and I love mot kinds of sushi and rolls. I like cheese and other than ice cream, its my main source of calcium. I don't and wont drink any milk-- not in my cereal and not in my coffee, never--yuck. I don't mind yogurt but I only like one kind (Dannon Light and Fit). Sometimes, I may like cottage cheese but I really have to be in the mood for it. I don't like pudding but I {heart} ice cream, especially from Whitey's (wink, wink) and I don't care for chocolate but I don't dislike it either! 

As far as fruits and vegetables, well, I love fruits and almost every vegetable that there is. I was a vegetarian starting when I was around twelve or thirteen years old (by my own choice) and since then I have gone back and forth between a full vegetarian and eating some meats on rare occasions. In general I don't think that I could be or even want to be a vegan. There are too many things that have hidden animal byproducts in them and being a Vegan (IMHO) takes too much time, effort and money but I am going back to being a vegetarian and i'm starting with the Ultimate Reset. 

Week one of the Ultimate Reset helps those who do eat meat wean off of it. The meat that they allow is meat that I don't like, other than eggs, so i'm practically a vegetarian again from day one, which is fine. By week two ill be off of eggs and for the next two weeks my diet will be that of a pure vegan. I can have no pop, no sugar, no candy/gum, nothing with preservatives or additives in it. Only Fresh. Raw. Vegetables, fruits and grains. It should be an interesting journey and to be truthful I am both nervous and excited. I am hoping that I come out on the other end feeling rejuvenated and strengthened both inside and out! I hope that I can say so long to pop, candy and coffee and hello to a vegetarian life style, again. 

My fridge is stocked with week ones menu approved foods. I have some light prep work to do tonight but other than that, I am ready to begin. So please, wish me strength and will power. I have a feeling that I am going to need it at least for fighting through the cravings of sweets and caffeine!

*** If you are interested in learning more about the Ultimate Reset or any of Beachbody's products then Annie is your gal. Annie is a team Beachbody Coach and she will give answers to all of your questions and she will motivate your socks off! ***

Reset

Curious? 

 You should be! 

No More Giving Up

I saw this photo on Facebook yesterday and it really hit home for me. 

I am notorious for starting exercise routines and not following through on them. Finding excuses for why I can't work out comes very natural for me. That's why five weeks into the Insanity program I was uber ecstatic with my success. I had only missed two days in the Insanity routine but each time I made up for my lost day with a double workout on the following. Me, sweating to Shaun T's Insanity became a normal activity for my family to see. Everyone was cheering me on, motivating me and especially encouraging me to push through and to not. give. up. I was feeling better than ever and my body was already transforming. 

And then I slipped. 

I had met part of my goal, which was to fit into my gown for the GiGi's Playhouse Gala (without any under garments to help into that dress, I have to add) and then the excuses began. 

The excuses lasted three to four weeks and then it hit me. This is not where I want to be. I'm tired of thinking "I wish I had ab's like hers", or complaining of this stomach roll or the jiggle in my ass. People look at me and very often roll their eye or scoff at the idea that I am exercising or that I even want to. I cant count the times that I have heard that I am skinny so why work out. Well, I am a smaller person but I want to be slim, healthy and in shape. When a person exercises or watches what they eat doesn't always mean that they are on a "diet" to loose weight, although what you eat is considered a diet. I exercise to be healthy and to give my daughters an example of what being healthy is really all about. You have to get off of your butt and do something, be active and most of all (for me) I have to stop making excuses and take responsibility for my body and for my health.

Luckily, I have the support of my family and I even have my own personal trainer (well, actually, I have a few of those)

Pssst... check out Miss. V. she's standing on her own!! At first glance it looks as if she is using me to support herself but she's not!!

Whats my goal (besides being healthy, in shape and setting good examples)? Look below...

I do want a stomach like hers. 

I want all of this stretched out skin and flab (from having three children and from being on a period of prolonged bed rest) turned into lean muscle. 

I want to look into a mirror and say "I have the body that I want" and "I did it!

 I am now into my second week of Insanity. I will finish it this time. I will have before and after photos and I will reach my goal!

No. More. Giving. Up.

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With all of the above I wanted to add some information on Beachbody. It is the company known for its amazing workout videos such as the one that I am currently doing, Insanity, as well as their tasty meal replacement shakes, Shakeology and their great one on one support given from their independent coaches. I have had the honor of personally meeting my coach before she even became interested in Beachbody. Annie Reid from The House That Jade Built and her mother Janie at Janie Fox Talks and I plus our youngest children met months and months ago and we have both supported each other through our girls going through open heart surgery. Now I have the privileged of knowing my personal coach and knowing that she is going to be honest, push me when I need to pushed and keep me accountable for my health and fitness. Annie Reid is an Independent Diamond Beachbody Coach. If you are interested in starting one of the many amazing workouts that Beachbody has to offer, contact Annie, she has done quite a few of the programs already and is checking off her list as she continues to move through their different videos! If you don't believe me, check out her success story below!

No More Excuses

Why is it that I never forget medications for my husband or children but I almost always forget my own? How is it that Vada has only missed a physical therapy session due to illness but I cant get myself to exercise again? I stay on my girls to take showers everyday but sometimes I skip a day. Is it Poor time management? Motherhood? Procrastination...? I think, honestly, its a combination of all of those things and then some. I love my children and I think that I do a good job at mothering them but when it comes to taking care of myself.., sometimes I lack in that area.

My hair is falling out. I am gaining weight and my skin is dry. I have Hypothyroidism and these are all things that happen when I don't take my medications. Besides this morning, I cant remember the last time that I actually took my two tiny pills that make all of the difference.

When I look at myself I feel as if my skin is just hanging off of my body. I know nice image, right? I gained over sixty pounds during my pregnancies (All three of them!). After I had Vada I had postpartum edema and swelled up like a balloon. I actually weighed more after I had her than I did in my final weeks of pregnancy. Although, two weeks of diuretics took care of it. I was also on over twelve weeks of "strict bed rest" and from what I have been told for everyday down it takes two to recover. Twelve (weeks) times seven (days) equals eighty-four (days of bed rest). Eighty-four times two equals one hundred and sixty-eight (days to recover), which means I should have been recovered and been ready to exercise when Vada was around five and a half months. That's a long time to recover and that mark for recovery was hit and then passed an even longer time ago! So I have made a decision. Instead of saying all of the things I want to do, like my old routine of running three to five miles a day or my Insanity workout, Tracy Anderson Method workout or even my Winsor Pilates workout. I am only committing myself to one small thing, at least to start with... Ten minutes of elliptical exercise. Yes, I am that out of shape. Ten minutes get me sweating and breathing hard. That'll be my plan for one week. Its short enough that I cant make excuses and at the very least, its something. So I don't sabotage myself i'm not even going to speak of my next steps. I am going to focus on today and my baby steps back to a healthier me. This morning's ten minute "workout" was accomplished and I had my little motivator playing next to me the whole time. For now on there will be no more "I'll start tomorrow." excuses. For now on, even if it is only for a short ten minutes, I am getting my butt on the elliptical and I am doing something that makes me feel good about myself and the time that I have.

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Two days ago was Vada's eighteen month birthday. The funny thing is that I have been saying the same thing for several days now. On Thursday I told my mother in law that Vada and I celebrated it with some ice cream. Thursday was the first of September. I guess I was just so excited that I lost track of what date it really was. Vada was born on March 2, 2010. Therefore, Friday was in fact the correct day!

Since we already had some ice cream, last night we had fall vegetable soup (made recently) and broccoli with potatoes. The soup is my favorite and even though I call it a "Fall" soup I make it throughout the year because I like it so much! Vada likes it too, in fact I have never seen her eat so much at one time! She finished almost all of both bowls.

After dinner we did something new...laundry... oh wait, that's not new but riding in the basket, for Vada is! She was giggling like crazy!

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Last night, before bed Vada caught up on some reading. Justin and I have been trying to budget in a new vehicle, one that is appropriately sized for our family and Vada wanted in on the decision making aspect of the deal. She's still deciding.

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This morning was the third Sunday in a row that I have missed church. Not. Like. Me. The first Sunday we went to Saint Louis because of Vada's seizures. Last week was because of the cold that she caught the prior weekend and this Sunday was also because of that same stinking cold. Yeh, she has had it for three weeks! It's not contagious, at least none of us have caught it. She's not running a temperature and hasn't this whole time. I have brought her to the doctors and he has said it's just a cold and it should pass on it's own. Now, it's settling in her eyes and she has a lot of congestion that oddly enough comes and goes throughout the day. So I am thinking its time to bring her back in and re-examine her.

Anyway, instead of taking a coughing, runny nosed and watery eyed little girl to church this morning, Vada and I stayed at home, did laundry and listened to one of our church sermons on podcast. I'm grateful for the podcast recordings because I don't feel complete throughout the week when I miss church. Listening to my pastor's voice and hearing the messages that he preaches helps when I cant be there in person and especially, when I am out of town, sitting in a hospital. While missing church was not the highlight of my day I did enjoy this morning with my baby girl and she seemed to enjoy helping with the laundry.

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Two days ago I posted something that I later in the evening, removed. It had to do with raising money and the Down syndrome awareness walk that is coming up this October 1st. I removed the post because I spoke (or in this case wrote) too soon. Therefore, because the walk is now only twenty-six days away and we have yet to collect any money I want it to be known that we are still collecting money and it will be donated (one way or the other) to the QC GiGi's Playhouse and it will also be donated in honor of "Team Vada 2011". When more information is given to me and when it is set in stone I will share all of the details with you but please, if you want to donate, don't wait! Contact me and I will get you any information you need!

Seventeen Months

Yesterday, I decided to put Vada into an outfit that I had purchased months ago. I was hoping that she had grown into it by now. When I bought this outfit and many more like it I had assumed that Vada would be in eighteen month sized clothes by the time summer would arrive. It was so hard to determine then because she had a huge weight gain with the ACTH and then the fact that she was, at the time of purchase, actually loosing weight.

On a side note, when I read about children who have Down syndrome, I read about the many things to expect. One specific thing that I read was that most infants and children who have Ds grow slower or are smaller than their peers who may be the same age and who do not have Ds. However, like every other possibility, it was just that, a possibility and since I hadn't had much experience with her actually being small (other than around her birth) I thought nothing more about what I had once read and bought the eighteen month sized clothes.

Clearly, I was wrong when I assumed I knew what her Summer size would be.

I am hoping for an prolonged Summer..., then maybe she might get some use out of a her "cool" clothes but I doubt it. Either way, I may save them for next ear, just in case. I kept a ton of her nicer clothes from this last winter, which was also sized for eighteen month old babies. Again, because of the ACTH, she was wearing eighteen month sized clothes, only she was nowhere close to being that age. I'm thinking that at the very least those will be perfect for this winter.

The first two pictures was taken on Christmas of 2010. Vada was 9-1/2 months old. The third picture was from this morning. The outfit is sized for a 18 month old and there is plenty more where this one came from. Some fit better than others. This one happens to fit her in practically the same was as when she began wearing it.

After we finally found some clothes that did fit her we headed to our friends house for a first time dress fitting. My friends mom is making our Vada and my friends daughter matching dresses and since she lives in another country, we have to send her the measurements of our girls.

Wasn't it thoughtful of me to stop her while facing the hot, hot sun, to take this picture? 

During our walk I did noticed something that got me really excited! Vada's feet can finally touch the pedals of her SmartTrike! So, she may be smaller in the waist area but she is, without any doubt, growing in length!

Later in the afternoon, Vada and I headed to her Ped's office for a check-up and more importantly, to start her Vaccination again.

These next few pictures are from my cell phone, so their not the best quality but look at how much fun she is having!

She didn't know or care about what was coming up, however. She was having too much fun playing on the exam table.

Vada may have been having a blast but I was sick to my stomach.

Knowing the right thing to do is not always easy and today's choice was a difficult one to make. I had actually put this appointment off by three weeks because I knew what vaccine everyone wanted to start with, the DTaP. For those of you who don't know, in the past this was an eliminated vaccine for those who had West Syndrome (or Infantile spasms/seizures). The Pertussis portion was once a "live vaccine" and it was linked to seizures. However, now that it is a "killed" strand or an inactivated toxin, it is considered to be safe to once again use on those who have Vada's form of Epilepsy. Regardless, it makes me nervous! Even today I am watching her like a hawk! Last night I even slept with her. She does seem to be having a difficult time too but I understand (having two children prior to her) that there are small reactions that sometimes occur but this is why I am watching her so closely.

She barely flinched while getting the shot, which was a nice reaction. She still has area's on her thigh's that looks almost scarred from where I gave her the daily injections and I think that maybe because it is scarred that she may have less feeling in those area's of her legs. Hopeful thinking?

Along with her vaccinations she was weighed and measured and low and behold she has grown. At the age of seventeen months (and two days) Vada is now twenty-eight inches long and weighs seventeen pounds and ten ounces.

When her doctor came into the room he jokingly said that if you looked at her growth chart you would think that she was withering away. He then followed that up with "But clearly that's not the case. She looks amazing!"

We think so too!

This is a Down syndrome specific growth chart. This is the chart that the doctors should be using if your child has Ds.

This is a Down syndrome specific growth chart. This is the chart that the doctors should be using if your child has Ds.

This growth chart is used for infants/toddlers who do not have Ds. I', sharing it with you to show you the difference in where Vada falls between the charts.