Pro-Life

This morning I was checking my email and I ran across this article. I shared it on my Face Book page and then followed it up with a personal comment, only to have that comment constantly removed. So, I thought that I would share it here. To fully understand what I am referring to please read the short article that I have attached a link to above.

This was my comment in reference to the news article...


This is what we face and what we are fighting against.


Genetic testing.


What's wrong with this, you ask? This test, (the one that you will read about, if you click on the link above) is made to screen for Down syndrome and has, in general, been created to help eliminate the chances of children being born with it. 


Let me rephrase. The MaterniT21  test was created to give parents earlier results and a safer method (just in case the fetus doesn't have Down syndrome), to test for this syndrome and other abnormalities. That way abortion can be done sooner into the pregnancy. How thoughtful for the baby. This test is not creating awareness. It doesn't come with education or pictures of beautiful children who have been diagnosed with one thing or another. No, millions of dollars have been spent and even lost on this test so that we too can join in and eliminate more babies who are born like my Vada. 


That is what's wrong with this test.


Did you know that in some countries they have pre-set goals to be "Down syndrome free" by a certain time frame. How could anyone be okay with that? How could you look at this test and think "Oh, this is great." Let me tell you now, don't be fooled, this test is not great, this test is murder with a ignorant prejudices attached to it. 

I hate these kinds of articles. Hate them. I can. not. stand. the false messages that are in them and I am constantly dumbfounded in how others can look at tests like this one, as a positive form of progress.

Abortion was the first option that we were given after our amniocentesis. (The only reason we chose to do the test was due to all of the medical issues with Vada's heart and stomach. Prior to finding out about her complications we had declined this test not once, not twice but several times.)  That option came from practically every doctor and nurse that we encountered. As if we hadn't known. It was on rare occasions that we might have been told (from any medical professional) that Vada had value, or of the things that she would accomplish, the love she would bring or even the laughter that she would share. It was however common to feel unsupported in our choice to continue with our pregnancy, other than from the great love that we were showered with by our immediate and even church family). 


I am blessed that God had already worked in mine and my husbands hearts prior to receiving the positive Down syndrome test result for Vada.


 I am grateful that abortion was NEVER an option or even a thought that I was willing to "ponder on". 


We were gifted with great support from our family and friends and there are too many people who are left feeling afraid and alone in situations like these. Therefore, they rely on the ignorance's of their doctors-who are suppose to be "experts in their fields". The truth of what a Down syndrome diagnosis is and could be are very rarely given in a positive light. 

For our situation, I will say this.., the specialist that we had in Peoria did give abortion as our first option but the moment that I told her "No, I am keeping may baby." She never brought it up again. From that moment forward she only listened to our plans and she supported them. That too, is rare.

My daughters are ALL amazing and my life is better because of their differences, unique strengths and their lives in general. I am blessed that I didn't need to be told of Vada's potentials, I already knew and that is all I want to do for others-to tell the truth about Down syndrome, there is more then one side.


I am proud to be Pro-Life. I will never stand out side of a building and throw red paint on you or condemn you with my words for the choices that you make-because I am not your judge and jury but I will never be okay with murder and to me, that's exactly what abortion is. You will never hear the words "Abortion is okay" coming from my voice and I will continue to share our truths. 


IDSC posted this on their Face Book page,  so I can not claim this perfect statement to be mine, but it is just that, perfect! " If it offends you that I am Pro-life then I need to come clean and tell you this. I find it offensive that people advocate to take the life of a child during pregnancy, just because that child is like my child." I couldn't even write that without tearing up. 


I ask only one thing from those of you who have taken the time to fully read through this (no matter where you stand on this issue). Take a good look at my daughters face. Would you willingly tell her that she has no value? No worth? Would you tell her that she doesn't deserve the kind of treatment that those who do not have Down syndrome deserve? Should we cast her aside because society tell us that she is not perfect? The answer to all of the above should be "No", was for you?

An Interview to Share the Beauty

The interview that I had with the Dispatch has been published!!!! AHHHHH, so excited!!! Read it HERE and let me know what you think.

Seventeen Months

Yesterday, I decided to put Vada into an outfit that I had purchased months ago. I was hoping that she had grown into it by now. When I bought this outfit and many more like it I had assumed that Vada would be in eighteen month sized clothes by the time summer would arrive. It was so hard to determine then because she had a huge weight gain with the ACTH and then the fact that she was, at the time of purchase, actually loosing weight.

On a side note, when I read about children who have Down syndrome, I read about the many things to expect. One specific thing that I read was that most infants and children who have Ds grow slower or are smaller than their peers who may be the same age and who do not have Ds. However, like every other possibility, it was just that, a possibility and since I hadn't had much experience with her actually being small (other than around her birth) I thought nothing more about what I had once read and bought the eighteen month sized clothes.

Clearly, I was wrong when I assumed I knew what her Summer size would be.

I am hoping for an prolonged Summer..., then maybe she might get some use out of a her "cool" clothes but I doubt it. Either way, I may save them for next ear, just in case. I kept a ton of her nicer clothes from this last winter, which was also sized for eighteen month old babies. Again, because of the ACTH, she was wearing eighteen month sized clothes, only she was nowhere close to being that age. I'm thinking that at the very least those will be perfect for this winter.

The first two pictures was taken on Christmas of 2010. Vada was 9-1/2 months old. The third picture was from this morning. The outfit is sized for a 18 month old and there is plenty more where this one came from. Some fit better than others. This one happens to fit her in practically the same was as when she began wearing it.

After we finally found some clothes that did fit her we headed to our friends house for a first time dress fitting. My friends mom is making our Vada and my friends daughter matching dresses and since she lives in another country, we have to send her the measurements of our girls.

Wasn't it thoughtful of me to stop her while facing the hot, hot sun, to take this picture? 

During our walk I did noticed something that got me really excited! Vada's feet can finally touch the pedals of her SmartTrike! So, she may be smaller in the waist area but she is, without any doubt, growing in length!

Later in the afternoon, Vada and I headed to her Ped's office for a check-up and more importantly, to start her Vaccination again.

These next few pictures are from my cell phone, so their not the best quality but look at how much fun she is having!

She didn't know or care about what was coming up, however. She was having too much fun playing on the exam table.

Vada may have been having a blast but I was sick to my stomach.

Knowing the right thing to do is not always easy and today's choice was a difficult one to make. I had actually put this appointment off by three weeks because I knew what vaccine everyone wanted to start with, the DTaP. For those of you who don't know, in the past this was an eliminated vaccine for those who had West Syndrome (or Infantile spasms/seizures). The Pertussis portion was once a "live vaccine" and it was linked to seizures. However, now that it is a "killed" strand or an inactivated toxin, it is considered to be safe to once again use on those who have Vada's form of Epilepsy. Regardless, it makes me nervous! Even today I am watching her like a hawk! Last night I even slept with her. She does seem to be having a difficult time too but I understand (having two children prior to her) that there are small reactions that sometimes occur but this is why I am watching her so closely.

She barely flinched while getting the shot, which was a nice reaction. She still has area's on her thigh's that looks almost scarred from where I gave her the daily injections and I think that maybe because it is scarred that she may have less feeling in those area's of her legs. Hopeful thinking?

Along with her vaccinations she was weighed and measured and low and behold she has grown. At the age of seventeen months (and two days) Vada is now twenty-eight inches long and weighs seventeen pounds and ten ounces.

When her doctor came into the room he jokingly said that if you looked at her growth chart you would think that she was withering away. He then followed that up with "But clearly that's not the case. She looks amazing!"

We think so too!

This is a Down syndrome specific growth chart. This is the chart that the doctors should be using if your child has Ds.

This is a Down syndrome specific growth chart. This is the chart that the doctors should be using if your child has Ds.

This growth chart is used for infants/toddlers who do not have Ds. I', sharing it with you to show you the difference in where Vada falls between the charts.

Summer's Harvest

Summer is almost over and eleven and eight are that much closer to being back into school. (I took the numbers verses names from another blogging mother that I know-love it!) I look forward to the stability of our days, which comes with the steady schedule that gets enforced once school begins. However, I will miss their voices, laughter and the company that they gave throughout my this summer break. I can honestly say that this is the first summer that they haven't drove me so crazy that I was actually glad school was starting again. I know that may sound bad but sometimes, no matter how fantastic they may be, kids can overwhelm you, especially when there is more than one of them! It seems to me that mine, for the most part, are in a pretty good stage but then again maybe I am too.

We had some slightly alarming news today. I received a call from Vada's Geneticist, it was an expected call, however, the news that came with the call was not. While I think everything will end up being fine, it did tug at my heart strings a bit and push me into some old memories-we've been here before.

 A few weeks ago, while in Peoria, Vada ended up having a lot of lab work drawn, some was at the request of the Geneticist.

This was uploaded that day from my cell, to my Facebook. 

The call today was to give the results from their tests. It turns out that all of her levels, and this is including her Vitamin B12, are normal-except her Methylmalonic Acid levels. I have wrote about MMA and in regards to Vada, here and quite possibly in other places that I just can't think of at the time. The concern is that she isn't just having spikes in her MMA levels but that she has a more serious problem called Methylmalonic Acidemia (MMA) also known as Methylmalonic Aciduria (note if left un-diagnosed or untreated it could cause death, great huh.).  Here and here give's some decent information that's fairly understandable, especially to those who don't have a medical back ground. Trust me when I say that even those with a great medical back ground have a difficult time deciphering this one.

Anyway, while MMA is a concern, it is not where our first thoughts goes. If you do go read about it then you'll see that Vitamin B12 deficiencies can play into MMA, however, her levels are fine. Mine however may not be. Every time I have my labs drawn, (even while I was pregnant), they always come back showing that I am either borderline anemic or just anemic. The thought here is that Vada was being breast fed almost exclusively by me, a mother lacking in her own vitamin supply. So were thinking/hoping/praying that this is all caused because Vada wasn't getting what she needed from me. There are case studies where solely breastfed babies of Vegan mothers have similar, but much more serious MMA occurrences. While I am not a vegetarian and nowhere close to being a Vegan I don't eat a whole lot of meat or animal by products which is partly the reason that I fall into the borderline anemic category. That and the fact that I rarely remember to take my daily multi-vitamins.

I should be getting another call with in the next day or so from the Genetic's office on the "game plan" but since Vada is no longer being breast fed and is eating every kind of food that we offer her were praying for some upcoming positive lab work to be done. While this MMA business may sound alarming, and it does have us a bit nervous, I feel like it truly was caused by my lack of nutrients. I feel like this is God's way of saying "See, Tara, it really was time." (You know, for me to stop nursing her.) I told Justin my thoughts tonight and he said that he had felt the same way, only he felt like God was telling him that this was time for him to step in and take over. (When I was recovering from my tonsillectomy and Justin was taking care of everything.) Either way, tests will be done and we will do what we need to do to keep our girl healthy. I truly feel whole heartily that this is going to be okay.

Putting today's call aside...,

These last few weeks have consumed me. So much has happened and it feels like even more has changed! While most of these things would not be overly interesting to anyone other than myself, it has been quite eventful none the less.

I have healed almost fully from my tonsillectomy and I am eating solid foods again-which I might add has been a delicious experience. However, I have not, out of fear, ate my Darito's-yet. I did end up loosing eight pounds throughout these last two weeks but since I had gained prior to the surgery you couldn't really tell. I say "couldn't" because I went six days where I only drank water and now that I can eat I am eating like a horse! (Neigh, baby, neigh!) I haven't got back onto the scale, mainly because I don't care enough to do so but I am pretty for sure that if I did, I would see that I have gained those lost eight back.  I am sure that all of the baking I have been doing had nothing to do with the that either!

These were the first homemade cinnamon rolls that I had ever  made... and my throat, at the time was too sore to be able to eat them! Jasmine liked them however and said that I should open a restaurant. I take that compliment for much however, because if I were to put sugar on spinach, I think that she would say the same thing.

Vader's likes to help whenever she can and since she follows me into the kitchen each time that I go, she gets her own utensils.

Eleven is currently doing College For Kids and has just finished her fourth or fifth year of softball. She is anxiously awaiting the beginning of Jr. High, which now starts in sixth grade versus seventh grade-her class year is the first for this change over.

Eight is having some testing done to evaluate for a possible ADD (Not to be confused with ADHA, this girl is as sweet as pie and not overly active! She is just having a very difficult time focusing, which goes back to the beginning of school for her). She has two more sessions before we really hear the doctors thoughts. She too is looking forward to seeing all of her friends at school although I think she may be experiencing some slight anxiety about returning to the classroom.

Justin is working-a lot. This week he is working T, W, Th, F, S and Sun. He works a two week rotation of days and then nights, all being twelve hour shifts. Luckily, this week he is on days, which means, we get to see him for a couple of hours during the nights.

The greatest thing about all of this business is that it practically has nothing to do with Miss V (and I can say that because again the MMA is only a small possibility.) . Besides her weekly visit with Kim, her PT, Vada is just hanging out and along for whatever ride(s) may be taking place on a particular day. I cant tell you how pleasing this is. We went from weekly (sometimes even bi-weekly) trips to Peoria (which was a minimum of three hours of driving each time), daily intramuscular injections of a nasty steroid, tri-weekly home visits from a nurse, seizures, heart murmurs and seclusion from life as we now know it to this...the activeness of what I now consider a "normal life". It's great. God IS Good! I am so grateful for good health. For this life. For this family. For my husband, children and for my friends. Life has its moments but at this time I don't pray for an explanation.

Tonight, for the first time we picked a real (mini) harvest from our little garden. It was so much fun, however, we have yet to get any tomatoes which is the key to what vegetables we did plant this year.

 We have a very little yard and in that little yard we have an even smaller patch that gets good sun. Therefore, we are not only limited on what we plant but also on how much. This year we planted tomatoes, yellow and red peppers, jalapeno peppers and red and yellow onions. Then on the deck we have a hanging pot that has herbs growing in it. Basically, we planted everything we need to make a good hearty salsa but you cant make  good salsa without tomatoes.

We may have had a good pick of vegetables tonight but I want those damn tomatoes!  Hopefully, what is growing will get the chance to ripen and not be eaten by some animal in the night. So far all of the tomatoes have had at least one bite taken from them. Justin thinks its chipmunks. Either way, I'll be sure to let you know when we do make our salsa because I am sure your on the edge of your seats with this one!

Speaking of gardening and visitors..., check out this guy that we found in our peppers! I have never seen in them in their cycle before, just the shells from afterwards. Kind of interesting.

My Great Mistake and an Interview With the Paper

Over a year ago I submitted a story that I wrote to the National Down Syndrome Society's (NDSS)-My Great Story. I remember writing it like it was yesterday. What I don't remember is the sloppiness of my writing or my choice in the title, Saint Louis Baby.

I was so excited to be having Vada's picture on a such an important site that I looked past the importance of what I was actually writing. I am proud of Vada and I wanted to share not only her but my one touching moment that I had prior to her birth and with another sweet little girl who happen to have Down syndrome, on their site and for my story. In my excitement I rushed through the writing. I made mistakes and paid no attention to my choice of words. I submitted the story blindly. When I recieved the email that my story was accepted, out of pure excitement I overlooked all of those flaws. It wasnt until a week or so ago that I relized how I had labeled this little girl who had made such a huge impact in my life. I didn't come out and call her a "Down syndrome baby" (I cringe inside for even writing those words in a single sentence) and maybe I am being a perfectionist but I feel above and beyond the writing that my choice in the title might as well have said those exact words. As a mother of a child who has Down syndrome and of a daughter who will undoubtedly be labeled for many things throughout her life I fight against these types of ignorance's and stereotypes. I fight to educate others so that they can look past her diagnosis and so that they may have the blessing to see the person I see.

Today we are having a local reporter come to our house to interview us. A spokes-lady through the NDSS contacted me last week and asked me if I would be willing to do this interview. I eagerly accepted and once again through excitement thought nothing more of it. Later, when she sent the same link to me that I had actually posted on my blog for others to learn from, I became nervous. My nerves were only highlighted when I finally went back to the story that I had long ago submitted and to my horror I realized all of my many mistakes. Today, even as I write this, I am actually trembling. Today is my opportunity to be the ambassador that I have also mentioned being. I don't want to make any mistakes. All I want is to show people the many blessings that comes with having a child who has Down syndrome. Every child is a gift from God, every single last one and that is the message that I want to share.

Ive decided to rewrite Saint Louis Baby. I want to rename it and give the story and the sweet girl who honestly changed my life the credit that is well over due! I don't know if the NDSS will trade out the stories or even submit this new one instead of the old one but once I finish it I will share it on here, regardless.

Wish me luck today. Pray that the Lord blesses us with wisdom to know the correct things to say. Pray that we may make Vada,our family and maybe even others who have Down syndrome proud. The interview is at ten this morning, if you'd like to know a good time to pray, although anytime is good.